


The Blindest of Hearts are the Blindest to Oblivion

by watson_amo_holmes



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), I won't break your heart too badly (that's what they all say), M/M, The angst is huge who was I kidding, This is me we're talking about here, Time Skips, the angst is slight don't worry, the angst machine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-05-31 22:15:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 29,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6489451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watson_amo_holmes/pseuds/watson_amo_holmes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anakin and Obi-Wan have a bond that no other Padawans and Masters have ever had before them, and will ever have after them; it is made with titanium and would take a supernova to break apart. Both Obi-Wan and Anakin think this will be enough. Although, supernovas have a way of imploding everything in their wake and then leaving a black hole behind, taking in every little thing that surrounds them, never to be seen again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Love or Purpose

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Obikin feels have hit me too hard for me not to write this. I hope you enjoy!

The council room was quiet and serene. The yellow evening light of the sun was softly gleaming through the wide windows, casting long shadows of the many empty chairs rooted to the white floor. Obi-Wan Kenobi stood glassily gazing out with his fingers resting against his mouth contemplatively. His eyes were somewhere else, not in the large room surrounding him, nor the Coruscanti life lazily buzzing outside. His mind drifted to Anakin. He thought of nothing in particular, only Anakin’s very being. It was like he was watching his soul.

“ _Ridiculous,_ ” Obi-Wan thought.

He was so lost that he didn’t notice the door opening or footsteps coming up behind him. Anakin stood there, barely breathing, and regarded his former master for a moment with wonder. This man thought so much – his mind seemed so colourful, yet it was tainted miserably by pain and loss. Anakin couldn’t let himself be; he couldn’t meditate and he could barely sleep. Thoughts were torturous. Fighting for freedom and laughing with those whom he loved seemed to be the only way for him to achieve peace.

“Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan spun around to be met with the weary eyes of his best friend. Golden light blossomed on Anakin’s hair, making it seem to be the soft blonde it once was when they first met on Tatooine. He was wearing his usual black leather robes that enveloped him like an embrace, which he argued were for warmth purposes _only_.

“Force Anakin, are you trying to kill an old man?” Obi-Wan said, huffing.

“First of all, you are not old and second of all, no I don’t want to kill you. Right now.”

“Why are you here?”

“I can’t just come to see you once in a while without some great plot of grandeur being underway?”

Obi-Wan’s eyebrow raise depicted enough scepticism for Anakin to break into a smirk.

“I did actually just come by to see you and how you’re doing,” Anakin expressed.

“Well, you’ll be very pleased to know then, Anakin, that I am doing splendidly,” Obi-Wan teased, fully aware that his younger needed something and was slowly working up to it.

“Good. That’s good. I’m fine. I was just wondering if I could ask you a question.”

“Of course. Unless it involves flying with you. I am not getting in a speeder with you ever again, just so you know.”

“Yes, thank you, I know that you will always be scared of flying, but no it doesn’t involve any speeders.”

If looks could kill, Anakin would have been killed by Obi-Wan at the dawn of time.

“You always go on: ‘you shouldn't form attachments, Anakin’ and ‘you shouldn't use let your emotions hinder your purpose, Anakin’. You seem to pull it off so well and I was wondering, how the hell do you repress everything to be the poster boy Jedi with your Code compliance?” Anakin continued.

A heavy smog of silence and tension comsumed the air around them, robbing it from their lungs. The room grew quiet and Anakin shifted slightly, uncomfortable under the copper-haired man's gaze as the words sunk into Obi-Wan's skin, tinting it a controlled haze of ruby. 

"Who do you think I am?” Obi-Wan answered dangerously, “You see a human before you, do you not? Actually, don’t answer that. I know what you think of me, you know. It does not take a Jedi Master to see that you think me to be of a completely different species to you entirely. In a metaphorical sense, of course.

“In your head, Jedi are barely alive in your books; they know what it means to survive, but not to truly live. What are we without love, emotions and attachments? Are we soulless, Anakin? Am I? No. It has nothing to do with repression.”

Anakin waited, dumbfounded, yet he allowed Obi-Wan to continue.

“If you want a ‘poster boy Jedi’, may I direct you to Ferus Olin? You and I both know that he follows the Code a lot better than I ever could and will. I will leave it up to you to decide whether his arrogance makes him a better Jedi, as that seems to be the only thing you two have in common with each other," Obi-Wan passively ranted in a way that only Obi-Wan Kenobi could manage.

"I do not merely recite the Code to bore you, Anakin. I do it to remind you of who you are. Extreme compliance is not necessary, but you do need to acknowledge it and I am aware that you find this difficult."

Anakin stayed silent. Obi-Wan turned back to the window again, his mind flowing to his failure to adhere to the Code’s harsh restrictions.

“The code is a way for us Jedi to be completely ready to become one with the force when our time comes. Without it, we lose who we are and we lose our purpose," Obi-Wan said with complete earnestness.

Acknowledging this, Anakin patiently listened. Obi-Wan was a quiet, reserved man. He was the negoitator for a reason; he was talanted with words, so much so that he could swerve the course of a potential battle from happening. Although, he rarely confided in him and Anakin didn't either. The bond they shared was quiet and private, and words were too difficult to express. A moment where Obi-Wan opened himself up like a book for Anakin to read was a spectacle to behold and it made something settle in his chest that he couldn't name.

Obi-Wan looked solomn and dejected,"I know you think that I am invulnerable to love, but that is not the case. Satine was the only person in this galaxy who I have loved so powerfully and I admit, I did try it with the repression. It would never work out between us and we both knew that. She was the pacifist leader of Mandalore; a planet riddled with a bleak history of war and violence. I was a Jedi; I was taken from a family that I barely got a chance to know and placed in a new family with the Jedi Order," his eyes shone as he continued,"I love my family here more than anything and the only comforts to me when I was a young boy, alone in this Temple, were the people that surrounded me and the Code I had to follow.

The force opened up with a tidal wave of emotions as Obi-Wan decided to open their bond and let down the mental shields slightly, just this once, whilst they were safe and war wasn't at their tails.

"If either I or Satine abandoned our purpose in the sake of love, we would both be lost; it would be suicide. She would lose Mandalore to war and it would break her heart. I would lose all that I had ever known. I regret that I never took the chance to love her like she deserved and I told her that I would’ve left the Jedi Order for her. I knew that she truly loved me from the fact that she never once asked me to do so, and I never asked her to leave her position as a leader either. We both knew what it would mean. We were not content, but we had to be. We didn’t have a choice – we could not have it all.”

Obi-Wan took a heavy breath, his exhale troubled, “I loved Qui-Gon too. He was my master. I never got to have him cut off my braid and see me become a knight after years of dedication and training. He never got to see me and how he had helped me grow. I lost him and I grieved exhaustingly for years. I could not stop myself from forming attachments where he could excel at remaining distant, yet caring. To this day, I still do not know how he managed to provide me with both when I was a Padawan.

“Anakin, you either have purpose or love; you cannot have both. A sacrifice has to be made. For us, it is material possessions and attachments to others. In that, we are noble.”

Shadows passed over Obi-Wan’s face and danced across his features. His faced was taut with guilt.

“I’m sorry, Obi-Wan,” Anakin said finally, his throat feeling uncomfortably tight.

“Do not apologise. It has already passed,” Obi-Wan said softly, his eyes crinkling into a sad smile, “Anakin, I am not immune to love and neither are you. We are creatures of attachment; it is in our nature."

Obi-Wan restsed a hand on his former Padawan's shoulder, "I do not deem it necessary to block out emotions, but learn that our actions benefit if we do not rely on feelings to drive them. I have loved many people, but it is a dangerous affliction. When you love someone, you are prepared to do anything for them, even kill if necessary. I know that I am prepared to do that, and as a Jedi, that is unacceptable.” Anakin felt a shiver run down his spine as Obi-Wan looked deep into his eyes with blazing, blue seas that echoed so much sincerity that it was frightening.

“I never-I never thought that you loved Satine that much and I had no idea how much Qui-Gon meant to you. I am sorry. Forgive me.”

“Anakin, I am fully aware that you only ever apologise sarcastically, so I should take this moment and cherish it forever, yet I must say I have simply no idea why you are saying sorry.”

“Because of the way I talk to you. I always envy your ability to control your emotions compared to mine; I am scared that I will never be a good enough Jedi because I cannot stop loving and ignore my feelings,” Anakin confessed.

“You are actually admitting that I am better than you at something? It really is a good day,” Obi-Wan laughed hysterically, which only intensified when Anakin shot him daggers with a glare.

“Ahem. Serious, Obi-Wan. You are and will always be a good Jedi. Never doubt that. You are a marvel, Anakin. You are not just the ‘Chosen One’; you are a Jedi and a fantastic one at that," Obi-Wan's gaze grew warm with mirth and fondness, "You are reckless, and you may never follow orders except for once in a blue moon, yet you are still amazing. We are standing in a council room that is usually filled with ten or more uptight Jedi Masters. We need you, Anakin. I don’t ever want you to change just because you doubt that. I don’t want Ferus; I don’t want a perfect Padawan who obeys everything I tell him, because I am sometimes wrong. I can’t believe I’m saying this – it would be boring. I’ve only ever wanted you. I know sometimes I have believed myself to be cursed with you, but you are truly a gift of the Force herself.”

“Compliments? My, my, what was that good day you were talking about?” Anakin smiled.

“I presume this was all brought on by the young Senator Amidala?”

“Wh-What are you talking about? What about Padmè?”

“I know you love her, Anakin, and I know that you are married. You do not need to lie to me.”

“ _Married?_ We are _not_ married.”

“Anakin.”

“Fine. Yes, I am married to her," Anakin sighed," I married her on Naboo.”

“Yes, I am aware, thank you. Just be wary, Anakin. As a Jedi, your emotions can cloud your judgements and you cannot risk such things.The fear of loss is the path to the dark side. You must bring balance to the Force. Overwhelming yourself with emotions and desires may not lead to a good ending.”

“Yes, okay, okay, Master. I get it.”

“You don’t need to call me that any more. I hope you are aware of that.”

“I am. But I hope that you’re aware that’ll you’ll always be my Master," Anakin replied smoothly, waggling his eyebrows and grinning wildly, as he bathed in the shower of praise that never came his way from Obi-Wan.

“Anakin, go get some sleep. Maybe even a visit to the healers. I think you might have experienced a mild head trauma.”

“Ha, ha. Funny. Thank you, Obi-Wan. I’ll see you in the morning,” Anakin said deadpanned before breaking out into an even brighter smile, waving.

“Good Evening, Anakin.”

“Night, Master.”

Obi-Wan remained there for some time, watching as the sun set and the stars burst in colour across deep navy. The lights of Coruscant shined. Obi-Wan knew he was a fool to love. He also knew that he would most definitely die a fool.

 


	2. Kneeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Surprise, surprise I am back again. That did not take long at all. 24 hours. That is a new record for me, for sure. You have my epic procrastination against studying to thank. 
> 
> Just so you know, this is set when Anakin is a little, adorable youngling when he is around 10 years old and has been granted Padawan status to Obi-Wan. I thought I would indicate this time jump with italics. This time, anything that's not in italics are thoughts. Shaking it up a bit here. What can I say? Love you and I hope you enjoy!

_Anakin was wandering around the temple idly. It was early in the afternoon and his training had finally finished. The walls of the Temple corridors glistened and shone, yet something sat heavily on his mind and refused to part with him. Ferus._

_Anakin had only met Ferus a week ago and had already decided that he hated him. Still being taught in the Jedi ways, Anakin came late to the Jedi Order, but Ferus Olin seemed to know everything. It probably didn’t help that he had been a Padawan learner for two years already and decided to take it upon himself to outplay everyone surrounding him, simply because he could._

_When Anakin had finished lightsaber training and was exiting the training room, he glared at Ferus disgustedly as he bounded out like an unduly excited puppy. He ran headfirst into his Master, Siri Tachi, and the sheer look of utter horror on his face was priceless. Siri Tachi was not a Jedi Master to be messed with and every soul in the Temple knew it to be the case. They attempted to stay out of her way wherever possible._

_Siri’s eyes narrowed at the young Padawan beneath her. As if on instinct, Ferus fell onto his knees and bowed his head, apologising repeatedly. Anakin eyes widened._

“You’re supposed to kneel?!” _Anakin thought_ , “Maybe that’s why Obi-Wan won’t talk to me when I mess up. I seem to be messing up a lot lately. Why didn’t he tell me?”

_Master Tachi’s eyes rolled and she told her Padawan to get up off of the floor. Ferus obeyed immediately and followed her to the dining room, his cheeks flushed at having to apologise in public._

“His fragile ego definitely couldn’t take it,” laughed Anakin.

_Uncomfortably, anxiety ripped at his moment of humour and started ebbing at his being. Anakin had to question his Master on his oversight. He had to know why he wasn’t told. He didn’t like being left out of the loop on a Jedi matter that even an arrogant idiot like Ferus knew to practice._

_Turning around and speedily striding back to his quarters, Anakin knocked on the door. Obi-Wan opened it fully, smiling when his eyes fell on his Padawan._

_“Come in then. You’re not just going to stay out there brooding, are you?”_

_Their shared quarters were as tidy as ever, seeing as Obi-Wan had the day off from his duties. A deep blue sofa stood in the centre of the room, opposite a glass coffee table that was adorned with holopads. Two bookshelves faced the door on opposite sides of the room and were filled with dozens of books, all of which were Obi-Wan’s. Jedi were not supposed to have material possessions from what Anakin had picked up, yet his Master’s love for reading surpassed any restrictions._

_Obi-Wan waltzed over to the sofa and sat down carefully, crossing his legs and regarding Anakin with a patient gaze._

_“Sit, Anakin. I want to talk to you. Don’t worry, you don’t need to look so nervous,” Obi-Wan chuckled._

_Anakin stalked over and instead of sitting next to his Master, he kneeled in front of him, hanging his head in shame. Obi-Wan’s face drained of all its mirth and fearful concern filled its place._

_“Master, I am sorry for being such a burden on you. I know you never wanted me. Qui-Gon was going to be my Master and when he died, I was left to you. I don’t know how to be a good Jedi and I don’t think I ever will be. The council said I was too old. They were right. I keep causing you trouble.”_

_Obi-Wan froze for a minute, not even blinking, while he processed the harsh, self-deprecating words that fell so easily from Anakin’s lips as if by habit._

_“Burden? Anakin, you are not a burden. Where on earth did you get that from? Sit here, Anakin.” Obi-Wan said, while his brow was caught in a tight frown of confusion. He squirmed slightly at the sight before his eyes and he suddenly felt incredibly nauseous._

_“I am. You are trying to train a ten year old in the Jedi way that most have already been taught, pretty much since birth. I don’t have control over my emotions and I still have an attachment to my mother. Every time I fail and let anger get the better of me, you calm me down and then ignore me. I am nothing but a hassle.”_

_“I have no reason to lie to you. I am not going to deny that you are challenging, but that does not make you a burden. I am blessed with you, Anakin,” Obi-Wan continued, “Of course, you aren’t fully detached from your feelings. You’ve only been my Padawan for a month! That is another lesson I am yet to teach you: patience. Tell me, what brought all of this on? Sit up, Anakin, please.”_

_“No! I’m kneeling to apologise. Why didn’t you tell me this was what I had to do?” Anakin accused, hurt echoing uncontrollably through his voice._

_Obi-Wan sat forward with insurmountable tenderness in his eyes, yet there were shadows of sorrow and something else that Anakin could not make sense of._

_“Anakin. Look at me. You don’t have to kneel. Come and sit,” said Obi-Wan softly, patting the seat beside him._

_Finally, Anakin gave in and sat beside his Master, cross-legged and deflated._

_“I want to explain something to you, okay? Yes, most Padawans kneel to their masters for a multitude of occasions, including saying sorry. First, you have nothing to apologise for. Second, never do that again. I never want you to kneel to me. I am responsible for you, Anakin. I do not own you. They are not one and the same._

_“You knelt day in and day out before a Master who did not care for you and showed you no compassion, knees digging into the unforgiving sands of Tatooine. You witnessed your mother going through such tremendous amounts of pain to ensure that her only son would live a better life than she was ever granted. When you kneel, you relive every second of that pain; I can see it in your face. You have dealt with so much in your early life. The force has laid her burden heavy on your shoulders. I do not want to add to that weight. I never asked for you to kneel to me and I never will. The only time I want to see you kneel is when I am knighting you. Promise me, Anakin.”_

_Anakin wasn’t sure of much since he was taken away from his mother and was forced to leave her in suffering, whilst he was given a chance for freedom - to fight for it with every ounce of his life. However, Anakin knew that he could be sure of this besides everything._

_“I promise. Thank you, Master,” Anakin said, timidly._

_Obi-Wan’s hand rested on Anakin’s shoulder and gave a reassuring squeeze._

_“I should be the one saying sorry. I am sorry that I ignored you when you did something wrong. Qui-Gon did it to me when I was a young Padawan and I barely know what I’m doing. I was rushed through Knighthood so I could train you. I was never prepared for this.”_

_Obi-Wan’s fingers found Anakin’s braid and ran down it thoughtfully._

_“But thank you for giving me your word. Go and rest. Tomorrow calls for more training."_

_“Of course, Master.”_

_As Obi-Wan left the room, Anakin’s gaze followed him out. He wondered what he had ever done in his short life to deserve a Master as loving as Obi-Wan. If there was ever a Jedi to look up to, it was his Master. He knew that for certain. He hoped that maybe it wasn’t too late for him to start training at ten and that one day, he’d be as powerful a Jedi as Obi-Wan. He would free the galaxy._


	3. Stranded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is LONG (for me anyway). I believe this to be the longest piece of fic that I’ve ever written, which makes this particular fic the only one that I have bothered to continue and the only one thus far that I will be bothered to finish, just because I love it so much. Thank you for your patience as I try not to lose my shizzle with these exams and allow myself this escape, while maybe even providing one for you in the process. That’s cool. I love you all more than you will ever know. Thank you and have a blast reading this (I hope) x

“ANAKIN!” Obi-Wan belted, his knuckles white against the midnight black armrests he was clinging to.

“I KNOW, I KNOW!” Anakin roared in reply. Fighting with the thuster with enough force to rip it off entirely, Anakin pulled on it to try and soften the landing. The engines groaned with the exhaustion from when they were hit and they were bathed in vermilion, flashing alternately in a dizzying tempo.

Anakin felt slightly sympathetic for this particular ship. It was his fifty fourth crash this year – he’d counted. Obi-Wan had unfortunately been with him for more than half of the crash landings, scolding and lecturing on correct landing procedures to no avail. Most of the time, Anakin senses that the ship isn’t going to hold up; he can feel it in the hums and the whining. This time, the group of twenty droid tri-fighters seemingly came out of nowhere and with a sea of precisely calculated, devastating shots, they both went down.

Lush green and an explosion of colourful plants were making their way closer and closer. Obi-Wan was visibly shifting in his seat from side to side, gripping his harness with a petrified expression on his features. The ship was spinning out of Anakin’s control and suddenly, they both made impact. Their transport finally came to a stop; skidding and scorching.

 

Drunkenly breathing a troubled sigh of relief, Obi-Wan unbuckled and composed himself for a moment, the nausea setting in with full force. The one strand of hair that Anakin refused to acknowledge that he loved, hung in front of Obi-Wan’s eyes.

Obi-Wan rubbed his face. This definitely wasn’t their worst landing, but it could’ve been better. The spinning certainly wasn’t necessary.

Anakin sat up, moaning a curse under his breath in Huttese, and opened his eyes. Glancing over worriedly to his partner, a smile of unabashed levity seeped in at the disgruntled looking Obi-Wan; red, debauched and possibly murderous.

“Glad to see that you find destroying yet another ship positively hilarious. How many times this week has it been? Three? Force, Anakin.”

He raised an eyebrow at the uncharacteristic light cursing from Obi-Wan and laughed, “I’m sorry. Maybe I’m not. I’m not really helping with your fear of flying, am I?”

“I am _not_ afraid of flying, thank you. Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to get out of this pile of junk you’ve created before it decides to explode and grill us medium rare.”

They both jumped out of the ship onto the planet below. It was covered in tall, stark trees and grass was dusted along every piece of ground that could be seen. Flowers bloomed in the spaces between the trunks, where the canopy above them let out light in narrow strips. The sky couldn’t be seen above; all that surrounded them was an ocean of colour – green, chocolate, indigo, sapphire, gold and ruby.

“Where do you think we are, Master? I’ve never seen this many trees in my life!” Anakin gasped out, his eyes twinkling, as the little boy who grew up on Tatooine gaped in awe.

“I don’t know. Does it appear to be desolate to you? I’m sensing some kind of life other than these blasted trees. It’s sparse but it’s there,” Obi-Wan said, unable to stop himself grinning at Anakin’s excitement that seemingly was never lost, even in his adulthood. He didn’t miss the natural ‘Master’ that escaped Anakin’s mouth, but he didn’t mention it. At this point, he knew it was futile. In some ways, he supposed he’d always be Anakin’s master, even though Anakin wasn’t his Padawan.

“Yes, I sense it too. It’s faint. It can’t be a civilisation near us.”

“For us, that is a very bad thing,” replied Obi-Wan solemnly at having his suspicions confirmed. As the words fell from his lips, the ship was set ablaze, burning fiercely in a flurry of blinding yellow.

“Oh, kark.”

“Anakin, I am fairly certain that I have learnt an entire dictionary of Huttese expletives from you.”

“Well, there goes our supplies. What the kriff are we going to do now?” Anakin said exasperatedly, throwing his arms up in the air like a child. Obi-Wan just looked on unamused.

“I don’t know when nightfall will hit on this planet, but I know that we need to find shelter before then. Fancy a hike, Anakin?” laughed Obi-Wan, pointing to a steep hill behind them.

They reached high-ground within twenty minutes and Obi-Wan wondered why he even tried. Thousands of leaves stood still, barely moving, and there wasn’t a single opening to be seen.

“Might as well carry on north then. Anakin?”

“Yeah, whatever.”

Walking hurriedly, Obi-Wan speeded in front of Anakin with twigs cracking and grass crinkling. They continued their quest for what seemed like hours and before Anakin realised what had happened, Obi-Wan was nowhere to be found.

“Obi-Wan?”

Silence.

 

 

 

 

“Anakin!”

Confused as to where the sound had come from, Anakin closed his eyes and quelled his anxiety just as his master had taught him all those years ago. The force licked at his mind and he reached out, sensing the overwhelming numbers of plant life and singling out Obi-Wan’s presence. Wincing, Anakin felt Obi-Wan’s pain and immediately knew where he was. He started to sprint.

_I’m coming for you, wait for me._

The silence that ensued nearly stopped Anakin’s heart before a weak reply resonated in his mind. _I don’t think I’ll be going anywhere, quite frankly, Anakin_.

The trees became a heady blur as Anakin’s legs burned like fire searing through his veins. His lungs wanted to rip themselves from his chest and his heart was thudding hard enough for it to spontaneously stop altogether. He wouldn’t stop. Never. Not until he knew Obi-Wan was safe.

He felt Obi-Wan near him. Anakin looked around calmly, even though his core was nervously eating itself alive. He had to learn the hard way that fear wasn’t always helpful. The fight or flight was inhibitive; it was cloudy. A cloudy mind in a Jedi meant a disarmed one.

His eyes fell on Obi-Wan without realising. Anakin’s legs carried him over without conscious thought and he knelt down next to him. Obi-Wan was propped up against a tree, his lightsaber deactivated, lying limply in his hand. A gaping tear soaked with blood was ripped through Obi-Wan’s left trouser leg. Beneath it was a weeping wound that was wide and unforgiving.

Anakin’s hands came to either side of Obi-Wan’s face, thumbs brushing away strands of hair, “Obi-Wan? What happened? Are you alright? Answer me.”

“I’m fine, Padawan.”

Anakin stopped in his tracks. _Padawan._ Obi-Wan hadn’t called him that in half a decade. Anakin needed to find shelter and soon. Moving his hands carefully over to Obi-Wan’s injured leg, Anakin assessed the damage with wide eyes. The cut was deep and sliced through the muscle in his thigh. Worried, Anakin looked into his former Master’s eyes as he tore the end of his robe off and put pressure on the wound.

“Obi-Wan! Look at me. What happened?”

Obi-Wan remained silent and simply raised his hand behind Anakin. Turning around cautiously, Anakin faced a fearsome black feline with four heads, piercing green eyes and bared, gleaming white teeth.

“Keep pressure on that, alright?!”

Reaching for his lightsaber and instinctually thrust activating it as it was designed to do, Anakin shot up. The beast spat and growled. Its shoulders stood tall; towering mountains and disturbing peaks. Paws like boulders, it stalked slowly with its heads independently hissing in tandem.

Without warning, it bolted towards Anakin with harrowing speed. The heads twisted and tried to bite, but he rolled out of its way and gracefully leapt behind it, air rushing beneath his feet. Turning one hundred and eighty degrees effortlessly quickly, the monster tried its assault once more. Anakin called upon the force, channelling unfaltering focus, and as the jet-black cat jumped up with impossibly long claws extended, he drew up his lightsaber with his eyes closed, slicing a line along its belly.

Blood-curdling, terrifying and hysterical, the howl from the beast was unlike anything Anakin had heard before and it echoed endlessly. The soft daze left swiftly and Anakin turned back to Obi-Wan.

“Hey. We’re going to patch you up okay?” Anakin said.

“Anakin, please tell me I’m not going to have a durasteel leg after this. I don’t want us to be half-droids, half-humans united,” Obi-Wan breathed out, gritting his teeth and lulling his head.

“No. No, that’s not going to happen. Stay here. Don’t move.”

“Please tell me you’re joking.” The _I could kill you_ went unsaid.

 

Anakin crept through the forest and allowed the force to guide him, brow furrowed with concentration. He trekked through infinite trunks and twigs. The sun was warm on the back of his neck and it made the hairs stand on end. It wasn’t a boring, uncomfortable, sweltering heat like on his home planet. It was like a caress that reminded him of his mother, something he would never have again.

Before long, something made him falter. He’d found what he was looking for. A cream flower sat alone on its bed of emerald, watching him. Anakin bent down and dug around it. He didn’t need the flower. His intuition told him that he needed the roots. He placed it carefully in his pocket and he started walking back to Obi-Wan.

A disturbance in the force. A ripple along the waves of the quiet.

Anakin attuned his senses with the force and let them strengthen with awareness.

Thuds like thunder, clapping amongst the dizzying breeze of green. Clicks were getting closer, filling Anakin’s ears with dread. He felt the presence of a hundred eyes on him all at once.

Obi-Wan.

Running back and using the force to feel out any unwanted presences, he found Obi-Wan still sitting with his head drooped against the trunk of a tree. Grabbing Obi-Wan’s hand and throwing him over his shoulder, he started running again as a strained groan from his former Master emitted softly from between parted lips. Obi-Wan’s thigh was throbbing and the pain was flooding into the force as his barriers were stripped down and opened unconsciously. Anakin heaved as the waves kept hitting him. They were much stronger than when he had first found him. This was rapidly becoming dangerous. Obi-Wan never lowered his shields fully; the Jedi made sure that shielding was the first lesson to their force-sensitive Padawans. The force could be overwhelmed without conscious thought, endangering your own life and the lives of others. It definitely wasn’t common practice, nor recommended. Anakin was just glad that no force-sensitives were around this time, apart from himself, but the way things were going, he didn’t want to jinx it.

This was turning out to be a very bad day.

Black emerged from the onslaught of hazel and Anakin sped up. What seemed like thousands of giant black spiders were creeping ever closer through the breaks in the trees. Red, translucent orbs of light that seemed so bright that they were glowing, were watching hungrily. From the undisturbed plant life, it seemed that that it had been a very long time since a full sized, three-course meal. Anakin wasn’t looking forward to becoming spider food and he was hell-bent on ensuring that Obi-Wan wasn’t the appetiser.

Obi-Wan was biting his lip in an attempt not to scream from the pain as his leg was being hammered against Anakin’s chest as he ran. His weakness was steadily increasing and everything was becoming too bright. His fingers laced themselves into Anakin’s leather robes in an attempt to be grounded.

 

A break in the trees made itself apparent and Anakin sighed in relief while his feet pounded the undergrowth. As the sun bathed Obi-Wan and Anakin in light, the spiders hissed and recoiled, and scurried back to their nest; hungry, empty and disappointed. The clear circle of grass made Anakin thank the Force audibly as he lowered Obi-Wan to the ground in front of him.

The warmth was now sweltering as sweat dripped down his spine, making him shiver. Anakin pulled off his tunic and robe and was dimly aware that Obi-Wan, should he have been fully conscious, would not be happy about this turn of events. He would begin preaching about modesty and how no matter how hot it happened to be, the Jedi couldn’t just “strip off”. Anakin, given if he were in another situation, would have found that little rant laughable, but right now he had greater matters to attend to.

Anakin pulled out the roots he had collected which were slightly squished from the constant sprinting. He used his intuition again to guide him and found a rock close by, using it to crush down the roots as much as he could. Carefully untying Obi-Wan’s makeshift bandage, Anakin cautiously smoothed the mixture onto the wound, biting his tongue in a grimace as Obi-Wan fought to keep quiet and the Force shook with the sheer suffering.

After Anakin was done, he smoothed he hands over Obi-Wan’s face and pushed back his hair, wishing that he could have avoided this entirely. Just as regret consumed the force and caused Obi-Wan to weakly grip onto his hands, a ship came into view above their heads.

“General Skywalker. Is that General Kenobi?”

Squinting, Anakin replied, “Rex? Is that you?”

“Cody! We need to get them on board now! It seems that Master Kenobi is wounded!”

Anakin pulled Obi-Wan gently into a bunk and laid him down. He returned moments later with a damp cloth and began to soothe Obi-Wan’s fever away.

“Obi-Wan, what happened out there? It’s not like you to get distracted enough to get blasted.”

 

“Love, Anakin,” Obi-Wan whispered out, “It kills us all in the end.”

 

Anakin trembled. The shields came down and a bond reached out. Tendrils of trust broke free and hit the titanium walls of Anakin’s mind. The look on Obi-Wan’s face made it apparent that this was the only way that he could express his feelings. Talking never worked between the famous Kenobi-Skywalker team; secrets were kept and white lies were shared.

Obi-Wan braced himself for the unbearable feeling of the bond being severed before it was even fully strengthened; he knew it was inevitable. Anakin just stood there - frozen and gasping.

“N-no. We’ll be back on Coruscant soon for a medical droid. I have to go and clean up.”

Anakin practically bolted out the room and left a bitter air in the Force. Much to Obi-Wan’s surprise however, the bond was still there. Although, he knew after Anakin had sat with his disgust, he would cut off the bond and never speak to him again. He’d return to Padmé. But for now, Obi-Wan allowed himself the small luxury to let his feelings wash over him, for he knew what was to come. The warmth settled in his heart and spread, unlike anything he had ever felt before. Kenobi-Skywalker were two sides of the same coin and it was about to be stamped out. Obi-Wan just closed his eyes and waited for the supernova.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn’t the ending I had originally planned for this chapter, I must say. But seeing as you have to wait another couple of weeks until my exams end for a new update, I thought I would share my insurmountable angst in my life with you through the ship of all ships. I cried. Just a bit. I’m a bit emotional these days. It’s a bit embarrassing. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed and I’ll see you very soon. Thanks, love!


	4. Stay With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what, kids? Yet another time jump. I am going to have to retag this as a time-jump fic now. They’re just so darn cool. I am such a nerd. I’m not sorry XD. To be perfectly honest, the time jumps allow me to explore a little about how Anakin and Obi-Wan have grown as people with each other – the stuff that we just haven’t seen. I think backstories are very important as it sheds some light on why characters make the choices they make and why it is understandable, given the circumstances they were put through, even if it isn’t the right one. I think it’s obvious that Anakin could not help but get attached to people and ultimately, that led to his downfall. However, I do think Obi-Wan was also in the same boat, yet he stayed on the Light side. Obi-Wan is just good to his core. It's beautiful. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy my cinnamon rolls! 
> 
> (I am so surprised that I am still writing this. I was slightly afraid that my brain had been transformed into a worrying mess and was as dry as the Sahara desert due to exams. THEY ARE OVER ((For now)). YAY.)

_The night was unusually cold on Coruscant; persistent and relentless. Obi-Wan glanced over to Anakin’s sleeping form with quiet reverence. His breathing was deep and soft, his eyelids fluttering every so often as they always did ever since he was a child. Soft lips were parted as ghosts of air wisped away in front of them and golden brown hair fell in curls over a furrowed brow; his tanned chest rose and fell gently. Obi-Wan wondered how this man had ever graced his life. This was a rare moment. He did not dare take it for granted._

_Earlier that night, Anakin had been knighted and hadn’t slept in days. He anxiously paced the living room for hours on end, kicking about torn down droids while he was at it, fingers twisting in his hair. He was anxiety personified, if Obi-Wan had ever seen it. He conked out immediately upon hitting the bed, groaning and smiling simultaneously, filled with so much alcohol that he could barely think._

_Obi-Wan knew that after Qui-Gon, he should keep to his internal, unvocalized vow to never love again, but it was obvious that it was already too late. He should have known by now that attachments would implode him, Qui-Gon’s death was evident of that, but Obi-Wan’s heart was the size of twelve hundred thousand galaxies and his love was wild with hope. It had already been done, long, long ago. A bond had been forming, growing incessantly ever since Anakin became his Padawan. Recently, it had transformed into something else; something unrecognisable, yet all the more powerful. It was far too dangerous. Dangerous for the both of them, especially Anakin who was spontaneous and reckless enough already._

_Anakin stirred in his sleep and his breathing transformed into troubled gasps. Nightmare. In his youth, Anakin would have night terrors every night once he was first introduced to the Order. He never once told Obi-Wan what they were about, but he assumed that they were about his mother. Obi-Wan could only imagine how much worse they could have gotten since then after she died._

_“OBI-WAN!”_

_Waking up with as start, Anakin screamed his former master’s name into the abyssal silence of the room and tore through it. Obi-Wan whipped around in horror as his eyes locked on Anakin’s. They were filled with such paralysing terror that his breath caught in his chest._

_He carefully walked over to Anakin’s side, worry emanating into the force without conscious thought._

_“Tell me. Just this once, tell me what happened. You have never had a nightmare about me before, to my knowledge.”_

_Anakin gazed glassily at him and slowly shook his head, “It’s happened before. I can’t help it. It seems so real. I think it’s a vision.”_

_Anakin breathed out, “Master Yoda thinks it’s my emotions and attachment to you clouding my judgement. Obi-Wan, I think you’re going to die.”_

_Obi-Wan couldn’t help it; his hand found Anakin’s shoulder and squeezed reassuringly. It was all he allowed himself. He knew that attachment was fatal to a Jedi and he tried endlessly to shield his feelings behind walls in his mind; he never let his guard down. Recently, Anakin had been more than an incessant pain. He’d been kicking the walls over and over and over again. Obi-Wan was wound tight as he waited for them to fall. It would happen any of these days now._

_“Anakin, look at me,” Obi-Wan said gently, as his hands subconsciously rested on Anakin’s face, “We’re in a middle of a war. We are both putting ourselves at risk of being killed every single day. We cannot guarantee either of our safety.”_

_Obi-Wan’s voice was like honey, “Anakin, you and I are Jedi. However I died in your vision, it is not set in stone. I thought we discussed this in your training as a Padawan; the future and past do not exist, so there is only the present.” Obi-Wan’s hands dropped to his sides as Anakin’s trepidation eased slightly._

_“I know, Master.”_

_Rolling his eyes at the title, Obi-Wan proceeded, “Now, tell me. I want to know, but only if you are comfortable, alright?”_

_Anakin' hesitation was almost palpable._

_“It was on Florrum. I saw Darth Maul and another…he was like Maul, taller, but…yellow?”_

_“Yellow?" Obi-Wan repeated, his eyebrows raising, "A Nightbrother?”_

_“Is that what you call them? Then yes. Maul planted his lightsaber into your chest. I wasn’t there physically, but I was…watching – from above. I felt it rip through you. I actually felt it. Is that supposed to happen in a dream?”_

_Anakin’s breathing sped up again and Obi-Wan slid his fingers over his pulse on his wrist hesitantly; it was through the atmosphere. Anakin’s heart was in his throat. It was getting increasingly difficult to take in oxygen._

_Obi-Wan’s eyes widened, “Anakin, slow down. Breathe.”_

_It didn’t appear from the haste thrumming that was rapidly accelerating under Obi-Wan’s fingertips that Anakin was calming down at all._

_“Anakin! You’re hyperventilating and your pulse is faster than you on a speeder; you’re having panic attack. Look at me, okay? Breathe slowly. I’m here. I’m here…”_

_Breathing carefully out, beautiful adoration and comfort was allowed out from Obi-Wan to flood into the force; it was cautiously controlled. Anakin’s breath hitched as the storm wave hit him with full force. His force signature seemed to sing with Obi-Wan’s in that moment and in that moment, nothing else could be more perfect._

_“Are you alright, Anakin?”_

_“Yes. Stop worrying, I’m fine," Anakin reassured as he closed his eyes briefly to regain himself._

_A comfortable silence fell over the room as Obi-Wan’s blue eyes met Anakin’s own blue oceans. The just settled there, the force thrumming like a drum._

_“I should let you get some sleep. You seem tired. I should go,” Obi-Wan only just realised that his hand was still on Anakin’s wrist. He let it slide away._

_“Can you-can you stay?”_

_Obi-Wan turned around from where he had stood up. At the sound of Anakin's broken tone, his feet seemed to root themselves into the ground._

_“Anakin, you’re a grown man. You don’t need me here.”_

_“Please?”_

_Anakin had mastered the puppy dog eyes at a very young age when he realised his golden locks and innocent smile could get him out of almost anything with almost anyone. He swiftly realised that Obi-Wan could never be swayed, however. It made little difference this time, but he found himself aching in his soul. It felt like tearing apart a piece of him to leave._

_Obi-Wan sighed, “Fine.”_

_The smile that beamed up at him could have lit up the whole room. Obi-Wan sat on the bed next to Anakin and got under the covers, determined to keep as much distance as humanly possible between them in a king sized bed, which was no difficult feat considering the small luxuries that the Order allowed them to have, and he had intentions to leave as soon as Anakin’s breathing fell into a deep staccato. The mischievous glint in his eyes that Obi-Wan knew all too well suggested otherwise._

_As time began to slow and a deep haze fell over them, the edge of Obi-Wan’s awareness barely registered a metallic, durasteel arm sneak over him and a human one following not far behind, wrapping around his torso. He opened his mouth to protest, but Anakin’s breathing had already slowed into a steady, unconscious rhythm._

_Sleep was tugging at his consciousness and despite alarms ringing in Obi-Wan’s head, he gave in. The part of his brain shouting “attachment!” was fading more with each second that past. All that was left as Anakin’s fingers lazily traced unconscious lines on Obi-Wan’s chest was something so profound that it resonated around the force itself…_

_Love._

 


	5. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oH MY GOODNESS. It has been a little while, hasn't it? I am terribly sorry. Stress had consumed me whole and I completely forgot about writing. I have another update that I am working on which may be ready by next week. I am consciously trying not to rush because I do not work well under pressure at all XD.

When they arrived back on Coruscant, Obi-Wan was asleep as his injury robbed him of all of his energy. He was rushed to medical immediately and despite Anakin’s conflicted emotions, he accompanied his former Master the entire way, too scared that Obi-Wan’s dampened force signature would erase itself all together.

The medical room Obi-Wan was placed in was painfully bright for the healthy, let alone the sick and wounded. Obi-Wan may wake up and ask if he had become one with the Force from the light emanating and bouncing off of the walls. Although, vapidity consumed the air as the greys and whites blended together. Obi-Wan was the only source of colour to be seen, and by the Force, was he beautiful; he was virtually luminous with life in such a lifeless space.

A droid was repairing the muscle in his thigh carefully and Obi-Wan barely stirred. He harboured a slight scorn that knitted his brow together, but otherwise he was dead to the world. Anakin knew he wouldn’t be up for a while with all the sedatives that were being pumped into him. Fidgeting nervously, Anakin tried to reassure himself that Obi-Wan wasn’t dying, just sedated. The Force was strangely quiet and the usual fondness and care was absent from it. It left him feeling unusually empty.

As Anakin gazed intently upon Obi-Wan’s form, with his hair sticking to his forehead from sweat, he tried to meditate. The medical droid didn’t even look up at him and just pretended he wasn’t even there. That would make things a little easier then.

Anakin concentrated on the cooling flow of breath flowing in and out of his nostrils and centred his attention on the faint presence of Obi-Wan slightly thrumming in the Force. He couldn’t feel any pain flooding in, nor could he feel much of anything.

  
“ _Calm, Anakin_ ,” he reminded himself.

He thought back to the events of the past twenty four hours in a vague attempt to decipher them. The Force was always glowing with so much adoration and warmth that Anakin had just gotten used to it and had never once questioned it. When Obi-Wan reached out with the bond, it had been more than overwhelming. So many emotions consumed him as they swam from Obi-Wan. There was trust, patience, anger, frustration, kindness, awe. The most forceful and undeniable of them all though, stopped Anakin’s breathing and caused his heart to pound furiously against its natural rhythm – love.

Anakin had Padmé. Obi-Wan knew that to be true. Things were already steadily becoming more complicated. Especially now that Padmé was pregnant. Anakin loved Padmé, he was sure of it, but the bond that was singing from Obi-Wan’s form was infinitely more intimate. Even before _it_ happened, Anakin could always be aware of Obi-Wan’s presence and even his innermost emotions once the shields had come down slightly. Though he had never lowered his shields knowingly around Obi-Wan, he had no doubt in his mind however that it was entirely possible that he did it subconsciously. Anakin didn’t even attempt to stop the dread that coursed through him at that.

“Mmm,” Obi-Wan mumbled in his sleep. The droid just turned around slightly, checked the heart rate monitor, and continued bandaging the wound in bacta covered gauzes. Anakin was thankful that he was not awake; that would have stung like getting a lightsaber pressed against your skin.

  
Feeling into his emotions a little more deeply, Anakin let his eyes fall shut and looked inward. In his mind, he felt it. The _it_ that his old Master would have forbade, not outstretched. The bond between Master and Padawan had long since been forgotten and something else had resided in its place. He noticed the fear that utterly devastated him – the fear that Obi-Wan had repeatedly scolded him over- the fear of loss. He was afraid. More than that, he was terrified. Anakin was gripping on so tightly to Obi-Wan and Padmé that he knew that they would slip through his fingers.

Cautiously coming back to his senses, Anakin gazed into the blazing room once more. The medical droid had long since left and the plain, grey chair by Obi-Wan’s bedside was now unobstructed. Moving over to his side carefully, he sat down and tipped his head back, staring at the ceiling with exasperation. Silence moved through the room and was only punctuated by Obi-Wan’s deep, rhythmic breaths. What had he done, all is life, to deserve this? Why was he the Chosen One? Why was he born into slavery, and then doomed to experience insurmountable pain due to his mother’s death once freed? Was the Force even inherently good?

Anakin wiped away the sweat from Obi-Wan’s forehead with a cloth and sank down further into his seat. Maybe his destiny had always been to face enough unbearable suffering to see how much he could take until he cracked.

His fingers laced themselves into the now clean, auburn hair before him, smoothing over Obi-Wan’s scalp in dizzying patterns. Or maybe, just maybe, the excruciating, endless torment had been thrust unto him so he could learn and be worthy of love once he had found it.

Time fell away into nothingness. Anakin’s head lulled repeatedly as he tried to fight the sleep that was threatening to overpower him, but it was to no avail. His breathing fell away into Obi-Wan’s own tempo as he prayed to the Force to keep him safe.

 

* * *

 

Heat. Burning flames licked at his limbs as he screamed into the abyss. All he could see was black; consuming, unrelenting and unforgiving darkness. Pain caused the Force to shake with paralysing agony and seemed to result in a rupture through her. Suddenly, revolting hues of sickly yellow razed the edges of his vision; nausea overtook his form with compounding atrocity and retching. This is what Hell must feel like.

Anakin…

A voice. So soft, it could barely be heard above the cries. Somehow, it ripped away the heat, and the burning with it, leaving him gasping sighs of relief.

Anakin…Anakin…Anakin!

Anakin awoke with a gasp, squinting painfully against the white light that surrounded him.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan said from beside him, eyes worried.

“Uhh-you’re awake? How are you feeling?”

Obi-Wan chuckled, but it sounded rough and pained, “Awful,” he croaked out, still managing a smile before concern took over, “You were having a nightmare weren’t you?”

“I don’t think we should be talking about me right now, to be perfectly honest.”

“Anakin, I really don’t care. I’ve seen you have nightmares ever since you were a child and I have never seen one such as the likes of this. You’ve even had visions before, but I felt this one in the Force. Tell me,” Obi-Wan said, as they both disregarded the Hutt in the room.

  
Anakin glanced at him for a moment, seeing the earnestness is Obi-Wan’s eyes, “I didn’t see anything, so I can hardly call it a vision, but I heard myself screaming – I _felt_ myself screaming. I was burning alive. The _pain_ ,” Anakin said as he bowed his head with a shaky breath.

Without warning, a hand snaked warmly around his own. Anakin stared down at it in a mixture of horror and contentment; it was a familiar gesture, one that they had shared many times over the many years that they had known each other, but now it was connoted with powerful emotion.

“Obi-Wan.”

Looking up into Anakin’s blue eyes, he wearily smiled in an attempt to reassure himself for what was coming.

  
“The bond, Obi-Wan. When did this happen?”

“I don’t know, Anakin. I don’t. Before I knew what was happening, it had already been done,” Obi-Wan explained sullenly. His heart was beating at such a fast pace that he thought he might faint and nausea was settling in the pit of his stomach. Despite the situation, he blamed the sedatives.

  
Anakin was silent as Obi-Wan’s words sunk into his skin. He acknowledged his own bond to Obi-Wan and found it was much the same with him. He didn’t know either when this had raged upon him. He was too caught up with Padmé.

“She’s pregnant.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Padmé. She’s pregnant.”

“Oh,” Obi-Wan said, a smile encompassing his features, “Congratulations.”

“That’s not what I mean. This can’t happen. It’s too late now. I have to be there for my children.”

“Ah. Plural. Twins, I presume?” Obi-Wan asked with his eyes closed in a futile attempt to gain some composure.

“Yes,” Anakin replied.

“I am happy for you, Anakin. I didn’t expect reciprocation. I had to let it out. It could have killed me,” Obi-Wan looked down to his bandaged leg, “It nearly did. Go, you need to see Padmé. You’ve been with me all night. Thank you for that, by the way – for staying with me.”

Despair lodged itself between them and filled Anakin’s heart up to the brim. After all the pain he had gone through in his short life, he still managed to excel in causing it in others. That was just his luck, he supposed.

Anakin left without looking back, but he felt the ripple in the Force – the quiet plea that would never be voiced – to stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that. :) What a bunch of adorable idiots. I must inform you that I will be going away for three weeks next month, and I am currently working on an update to upload before then, but during those weeks, I might not be able to update. Also, in September I will be embarking on the stress train that are A Levels. Therefore, most of my time will be robbed by studying and homework, so I do hope that you understand that updates from then on will be more rare until I finish this fic. I hope you still stick with me though and I will see you soon! See you next time, cinnamon rolls!


	6. Sick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it is a tad late. I am partly trying to compensate for my upcoming, inevitable hiatus. Mostly however, I am just addicted to writing this. I have so many ideas about where I want this story to go when it nears its end, yet it just takes so /long/. Some chapters take me hours to write because of writers block. When I started writing myself, I really appreciated the effort and work that goes into writing these, and I'm not trying to toot my own horn here, I'm just trying to put it into perspective so you guys don't hate me if I don't post for a couple of months due to school. I will not leave you in the dark, believe me. I have an ending. It will be written. So I hope that you are patient because I am in love with this fic. Hope you enjoy :)

_Obi-Wan awoke to the sound of choking from beside him. Hidden in the crook of his arm, half-asleep and half-awake, was a retching and coughing Anakin; he must have jumped into bed beside him during the night. Despite himself, Obi-Wan sighed but dragged his Padawan up into a sitting position and rested his hand on his back._

_“Padawan,” Obi-Wan said, shaking his shoulders, “Anakin.”_

_“What-Wh-,“ choked Anakin as he could barely get a word out._

_“Anakin, I’ll get you some water all right? Sit up for me.”_

_Returning moments later with a full glass, he sat down on the bed beside him and forced him to take a sip. Really, sometimes Anakin’s petulance did pick the most ghastly moments to make an appearance._

_“There. Better?” smiled Obi-Wan._

_“Not really,” Anakin said. His voice was as rough as the sands of Tatooine. Suddenly, another fit of coughs racked his body in shudders and gasps. Blood burst out in a sputter and before Obi-Wan knew what he was doing, he was racing out of the door and into the Temple to the healers. He knew it was an uncivilised hour but he didn’t really care._

_“Help me, please,” Obi-Wan gasped out, breathless, “It’s Anakin. He’s coughing up blood.”_

_By the time Obi-Wan had returned to his quarters, Anakin had passed out. The healer was rapidly mumbling to herself as she checked his fever and pulse rate. She then felt into his Force signature and found the centre of the disturbance in his chest._

_“Blood, you say, and a coughing fit?”_

_Obi-Wan nodded. His throat was tight. His chest felt like it was going to explode._

_“I think it’s a deadly virus. He is a rare case. We haven’t seen this virus in the Temple since before you were a Padawan,” the healer by the name of Tri stated._

_“Tatooine.”_

_“What?”_

_“Sorry, it’s his home planet. We didn’t bring him in until 2 months ago. We all have immunity, I’m assuming,” Obi-Wan replied, his brow furrowed tightly, “Stop - did you say deadly?!”_

_“Yes. Those who aren’t treated quickly will die. You came to me immediately. His chances of survival have greatly increased because of that.”_

“For a healer, her bedside manner was abysmal,” _Obi-Wan thought._

_He tried to ignore ‘chances of survival’ and focused on Anakin, “Can you cure him?”_

_“I am confident yes,” Tri said as she injected a green substance into Anakin’s arm, “He will need to be injected every day. It will slow the process of the virus in his body, allowing him to make his own antibodies from his white blood cells to fight the infection.”_

_“So – we’re slowing his death?!” Obi-Wan croaked out._

_“No. I understand that this is your Padawan and you are concerned. You need to understand that I will do whatever I can in my power to save his life and I am sure that I will be able to. Have you forgotten your training about such matters? Panicking will not help him.”_

_“Yes, I know. What should I do?”_

_“If you are referring to tending to him, I would recommend finding a way to lower his fever and sit him upright whenever he begins coughing, even if he is sleeping, so he does not choke. He needs fluids and food often, but the virus will cause him to sleep for abnormal lengths of time. If you must wake him to do this, then do so. Try to use the Force, if you need to, to try and rid him of the disturbance,” Tri deadpanned, “You can inject him yourself or you can call me daily and I will come to do it for him.”_

_“I’ll do it,” Obi-Wan weakly added._

_“Very well,” Tri said, looking at the clock bedside Anakin’s sleeping form, “I will check on him tomorrow morning. If you need me, you know where to find me. Goodbye, Knight Kenobi.”_

_With that, her fawn cloak whipped around and she was out of the door._

_“Oh, Anakin,” Obi-Wan sighed to himself, stroking back Anakin’s golden hair away from his face._

_Time passed by without Obi-Wan’s attention. He just sat there, watching, making sure his Padawan was safe. The first streams of daylight broke through the window and glistened across Anakin’s face; he looked positively sublime, save for his deathly pale complexion that seemed so loudly out of place from his normal slight tan._

_Out of nowhere, coughs raked their way out of Anakin’s sleeping body and broke the blissful silence moving softly through the air. Obi-Wan rushed to sit his Padawan up and received a pained groan of protest in response. From Anakin’s hooded eyes, he had probably only had a few hours, if that, of undisturbed sleep. He barely had enough energy to pick his head up._

_Moving his hand beneath his chin, Obi-Wan brought the straw to Anakin’s lips and sent comfort into the Force. Maybe that would work, just this once, to ease Anakin’s stubbornness. The most unnerving thing about it was that this time, Anakin didn’t even put up a petty fight._

_“D-Do you know –“Anakin rasped out, cutting himself off with a broken cough, “what’s wrong with me?”_

_“It’s a virus, Anakin. Try to rest. Your body needs to fight it.”_

_“Mmmm,” Anakin hummed in reply, his head already drooping and his eyelids fluttering shut like butterflies._

* * *

 

_When Anakin awoke again, it was mid-afternoon and Obi-Wan had barely moved. Tri came and went, but he was terrified that if he left for even more than a few minutes, Anakin’s Force signature could be eradicated; he’d feel the punch in his chest, the tear through his heart, the rupture through his very soul. A world without Anakin Skywalker was a future Obi-Wan did not want to be in. Losing Qui-Gon was painful enough. Anakin was the only thing that mended him afterwards. He was the only one who rested his hand on his shoulder and hugged him when Obi-Wan randomly broke down in fits of grief, even though Anakin was his younger and that shouldn’t have been his role. Obi-Wan would always be indebted for that._

_Dipping the flannel in the water bowl beside Anakin’s bed, Obi-Wan soothed at his brow, cooling down the blazing heat that radiated off of him. Anakin hissed at the contrast in temperature as droplets of water ran down his neck, but he welcomed it. He simultaneously felt like he was on fire and dipped in ice water._

_All of a sudden, he felt a presence, specifically Obi-Wan’s presence, looking into his chest. It was akin to having warm honey running through him and dripping along his ribcage. Easing into the feeling, Anakin shut his eyes as the roughness and itch residing in him slowly began to ebb away._

_“Sorry, Anakin. Does that feel strange? I am not a healer; I am not as talented as the Temple Healers, but I should be able to help, if only slightly,” Obi-Wan said to Anakin, searching his face._

_Anakin only shook his head in response and smiled, his blue eyes glittering again. Warmth flooded from his chest down his aching joints and soothed them as it went, causing Anakin to sigh. His throat went lax and his coughing seemed to subside, for now. Then, Obi-Wan was gone, yet the warmth still remained, as if some part of him was still floating in Anakin’s veins._

_“Rest,” ordered Obi-Wan gently, resting his hand over Anakin’s, as sleep consumed his Padawan’s consciousness._

* * *

 

_“OW!”_

_“I have to inject you, Anakin. Stop squirming – I’ll nick something. You’re being melodramatic.”_

_“If you had a 3 feet log needle jabbed on the inside of your arm, we’ll see who’s melodramatic,” Anakin huffed._

_Obi-Wan didn’t reply. He simply beamed to himself._ _“I’m going to take care of you, alright?” Obi-Wan said, adding a firm, “and I won’t take no for an answer.”_

_Anakin sighed, “Fine, Master.” His eyes started glowing, “When this is over, can you go through some more lightsaber training with me?”_

_“Of course. Anything for you, Padawan. Anything at all,” Obi-Wan laughed._

_Anakin faltered and Obi-Wan calmly haltered the threating outburst of coughing with the Force, relaxing his muscles. The relief could have been palpable. Then, Anakin realised. No-one was more in tune with him than Obi-Wan Kenobi. No matter what happened, no matter who tried to come their way with malicious intent, Obi-Wan would always be there. He’d be his, forever. The one team not even a black hole could consume or a supernova destroy._

“Eternity _,_ ” _Anakin promised._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sick, sassy, kid Anakin is one of the best Anakins. He can never beat Obi-Wan's sass though. He is the sass Master. Ps. Next chapter requires minor editing but it will be out momentarily. See you soon, cinnamon rolls.


	7. Ends Meet a New Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in a row? I know, it's crazy. I wrote this backwards, essentially. I had written parts of the next chapters and then finished chapter 6. What can I say? :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy ;)

Anakin looked over to Padmé’s sleeping form with reverence. His heart was elsewhere, but he couldn’t deny her beauty. Her brown hair cascaded down her shoulders and hums of contentment slipped past her lips as her hand rested protectively over her belly. She looked like she had all but swallowed Coruscant by now; the twins would be here any day. Anakin had to do this now. Sunlight decorated their shared bedroom in a picturesque sense of grace, making it have a dream-like sheen. This couldn’t be happening, but it was.

“Padmé. Wake up,” Anakin said, as he steadied his anxious heart.

“Mmmm- Ani, what do you want?” she questioned, voice still weighted with sleep. He smiled at the frown that appeared on her face.

“I have to talk to you about something.”

“Oh god, what have you done now? I can’t keep getting you out of trouble with this,” Padmé said, exasperated, gesticulating wildly to her protruding stomach, now fully awake.

“I haven’t _done_ anything. I just need to talk, alright?” Anakin replied, dimly aware that he sounded like a petty two-year old throwing a tantrum.

“Fine, then. Speak,” she huffed.

Anakin took a deep breath and exhaled it loudly, his shoulders trembling minutely with the effort, “Over the past few months, we’ve been growing apart. I know you have felt it. I thought the twins would solve it, bring us back together, but they haven’t.”

Rage pushed through the air and caused Padmé to deepen her frown into a scorn, “Apart?! You have been the one going off all of the time and neglecting me! It’s not just “Jedi business”, so don’t give me that. I’m not stupid, Ani. There’s someone else, isn’t there?”

“No! No! It’s not like that! ” Anakin automatically denied out of habit, his eyes widening in shock. Then he realised, that yes, she was right. That’s exactly what it was. He’d fallen in love with somebody else. “I love the twins more than you could know and I love you as well, just not how I used to. We need to stop this, before the children arrive. I-I can’t…”

Padmé’s eyes softened slightly as she saw the struggle in Anakin’s eyes, “Anakin, I love you. Though, you are right. This must be done before the twins get here,” Padmé said sadly, her voice barely above a whisper.

“You don’t even care who it is?”

“You can choose to tell me if you want to,” she sighed as she turned over away from Anakin, “but I know already where your heart is. I should’ve known from the start. You are not mine, Ani. You never have been. I don’t resent you; I was just foolish to believe you could love me more than you loved him.”

The air was heavy with palpable anguish, but Padmé was as strong as she had always been. She didn’t turn back. She just lay there, accepting what she had already known to be true.

“I’m sorry, Padmé,” Anakin said into the emptiness. His heart felt hollow, "I love you."

“I know.”

Anakin sat back and watched as particles of dust floated their descent to the ground, glittering like fireflies. Another heart broken; another life lost. He just prayed that Obi-Wan would forgive him, though he would never forgive himself.

 

 


	8. Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! You will be pleased to know that my three week absence is now hanging in the balance and will likely not occur. I had to move the date for the trip due to a charity run and unfortunately, that now compromised my place. Oh well. That means that I can squeeze in a few more updates before the month is over and September arrives to kill us all. 
> 
> This is heavily angsty and also where the canon divergence gets real XD. I mean, Obikin /should/ be canon anyway, but this is where I play around with the events of the last movie in the prequel trilogy like the lil minx that I am :). If I rip out your heart, my job here is done. Enjoy! :D

Light buzzing rang out into the room, pulling Anakin from his slumber, his lips murmuring promises and whispers in tongues no lifeform would ever know. He instinctively turned over and blearily opened his eyes to check his wife’s presence, but the ocean of bright white sheets were crumpled and empty of the softness that usually resided there. Anakin groaned loudly as he reached over to his comm and croaked out a demand for why he was needed, his voice still heavy with sleep.

“General Skywalker. Dooku has been spotted on Kamino and there is no doubt therefore that the clones are in danger. We need you and Obi-Wan to get down there immediately and capture him. Please, Skywalker, don’t let him get away this time,” the familiar voice of Mace Windu said, unimpressed.

“Right, yes of course. I’ll be right there.”

“Good,” Mace replied, and with that, the comm link went dead.

Looking up to the expanse of Anakin’s shared bedroom with Padmé that would soon be just _Padmé’s,_ he regarded the strewn about and abandoned items of his robes with a sigh. He shot up and tugged on his clothes, using the Force to bring his lightsaber into his hand from where it was sitting on the bedside table, hitting his palm with a thud, running out of the door with a wave of his hand. This was going to be tedious, but he was not going to pass up an opportunity to duel and beat the old man once and for all. Dooku really did have a habit of running away. This time, he would finish it.

* * *

 

When Anakin arrived in the hangar, Obi-Wan was already there, his majestic form resting impatiently against a Y-Wing with a face of contempt. His copper hair was as meticulously pushed back as ever, his blue eyes were dull with worry, and his tanned hands were on hips. Anakin smiled to himself inwardly about the lessons on patience he was taught as a Padawan. A lot of use they were now, it seemed.

As Obi-Wan laid eyes on Anakin moving closer, just for the briefest of seconds, a spark was lit and his turquoise orbs were glowing, before settling onto the floor again.

Anakin was _not_ having that.

“Master, we need to go,” Anakin said urgently. His lips curled into a smile, “Miss me?”

“Not particularly. Don’t crash the ship this time, please, or I will cuff you to your Y-Wing for a week.”

“Is that a _threat,_ Master?” Anakin purred, “I’d like to see you try. I didn’t know you were so dominating. Going to have me on a leash?” Anakin’s eyes were dark and predatory, yet simultaneously light with mirth, a smirk playing about his lips.

“Shut up and get in the stupid ship. We need to save the universe, as you so often put it,” Obi-Wan sniped back, before putting on his best Anakin Skywalker impression with a smile of his own, “ _Again.”_

The air between them still tasted bitter, but as they usually did, they walked around the evidently prominent issue like it was a sarlaac pit. They ignored it and covered it up with everything they could. Obi-Wan buried his emotions deep in his soul and as Anakin tried to do the same, it ignited something dangerous in him. Desires, hatred, fear, and anger leeched on him and slowly, he felt himself give way. Obi-Wan was a centre; he was a balance. If Anakin didn’t even have him, he would buckle.

Anakin followed his former Master into the assault gunship amongst Rex and the various clones joining them to protect their home. Anakin could understand that overwhelming drive. He was overcome with homesickness for a home which he could never return to, yet he did not feel lost. Padmé had made a home, but even she couldn’t weave warmth into a heart so broken, bleeding and torn apart by grief. Anakin was unsure whether anything could ever feel like home ever again. 

* * *

 

They arrived on Kamino with a notably soft landing, which was probably due to the fact that Anakin was _not_ piloting the gunship, thank the Force. Anakin smiled at Obi-Wan with fondness, as if he were reading his thoughts straight from his head.

When they stepped out, they stepped into the battleground. It hit Obi-Wan immediately; he was familiar with the atmosphere lurking about – the tinge of death, the taste of defeat lingering still, even though it was too late. Clones were _everywhere;_ they were scattered like wilting flowers covered in stains of ruby. Anakin contained his rage, but Obi-Wan looked over to him warningly, feeling the tremor of it in the Force.

“What in the name- what happened to them, sir?” asked Rookie, turning to his Captain, his voice shaking slightly.

“Lightsaber marks,” replied Rex solemnly, crouching down, his fingers tracing the distinct scorch mark down Scythe’s shoulder to his belly in a diagonal line, “It’s fairly obvious, Rookie.”

“Dooku,” Anakin spat.

Count Dooku waltzed out to meet them with such nonchalance that Obi-Wan had to hold Anakin’s shoulder at the buzzing in his veins, the rage that bubbled up and blurred his vision. Still, he felt the chill that seemed to zip along his spine from the contact. A reassurance. Penance would be served. Justice would be gained. _Patience._

Dooku analysed the hilt of one of his lightsabers apathetically and regarded them disdainfully, “I see I’ve caught your attention with these little amateurs finally being put down.”

“Those were my MEN!” growled Rex in reply, raising his arm to stop Rookie and the others from firing. Dooku was a Sith. Blasting at one was not a good idea and he did not want any more men to die. He had to wait until the right moment, let the Generals do their work and be ready to facilitate a surprise attack. Allowing careless shots would be a waste of charge.

“I would hardly use the word ‘men’, to refer to these _things_ , but I suppose I should put you out of your misery as well.”

Obi-Wan and Anakin took that as their cue to step forward and they simultaneously activated their lightsabers, perfectly in synch.

Dooku seemed to catch on, “Skywalker. Kenobi. Time to end this. Never one without the other, it seems.”

At that, Dooku waited as Kenobi-Skywalker seemed to merge as one and charge him. They came at him from both sides; Obi-Wan gritting his teeth as he twisted his lightsaber to parry the jabs and Anakin grew angrier with every blocked assault. There was a flurry of sapphire against ruby and time seemed to slow.

Anakin pressed his assault, fuelled with his hatred, and his feet licked the floor as they danced around their opponent, endlessly searching for an opening against the clashes. Sizzling echoed as Obi-Wan caught Dooku’s left lightsaber with his own and pushed with the Force. Dooku felt the ripple and brought a shield up immediately, pushing back. 

With Dooku momentarily preoccupied, Anakin foolishly attempted to attack from behind, which was faced with an effortless retaliation of Dooku’s right lightsaber crossing his back to deflect the blow. Dooku whipped around to face Anakin and closed his eyes. The very ground beneath them seemed to shake as he knocked down the supports of part of the cloning facility. Splaying his fingers out in front of him, Anakin flew back and hit the side of a circular roof, crashing against it with a nauseating crack, the chrome disc tremoring as it began to sink, breaking away. Anakin tried to open his eyes, to move his body just an inch, but blackness was all he could see and feel all around him, tugging him away from the present into the void.

Obi-Wan stood frozen in horror before his instincts kicked in and he called on the Force, tangled it around his fingers, and _pulled._ He could feel Anakin’s weight like he was holding it on his shoulders and he groaned out into the night, his arms shaking minutely. Pulling up with his gliding hands, Anakin’s body drifted unconscious in the air as the broken debris of the facility sank into the black ocean below.

Out of nowhere, Dooku approached and pushed his lightsaber through Obi-Wan’s shoulder. Screeching with agony, Obi-Wan activated his lightsaber and tried to hold Anakin’s weight with one hand, but he was slipping further. Obi-Wan’s injured shoulder was weakening him incredibly and he grimaced; he couldn’t let Anakin fall.

“So obvious, Kenobi. Put down one of you, and the other will abandon his very mission to save him. Not very like the Jedi, is it? Growing attachments, are you?” Dooku sneered.

Obi-Wan made the decision. It was unthinkable really, to do anything else. He shut his eyes and pulled Anakin over with all his might, dropping his lightsaber to the floor, sending it clattering. He lowered Anakin down to safety with a sigh of relief that turned into a gasp – Dooku’s lightsaber was impaled in his chest. Obi-Wan felt it rip through is skin and tear through his rib cage; he was faintly aware of the unbearable scorching that pulsed inside him incessantly, before he fell forward and hit the ground.

* * *

 

Emptiness. Anakin felt something course through his blood. It was unnatural – an abomination. Coldness flickered through his consciousness like ice and his emotions bubbled to the surface all at once from where they were buried: his fear, his anger, his hatred, his misery, his loyalty, his _love._ They utterly destroyed him; they were all so _powerful._

Dimly, he saw a figure. It was cloaked in black and such darkness and evil was emanating from it that it poisoned the air. Beneath the shroud of the hood, all that could be seen were sickly yellow irises flaming around a black hole; devastation tinged around him.

Anakin awoke gasping for air, his lungs raw and dry. He looked around hurriedly, ready to finish Dooku, but all that awaited him were four white walls enclosing him like a cage.

“Anakin, you’ve suffered a severe head injury, a punctured lung, four broken ribs and a broken leg. You need to rest. You’re safe now,” uttered a familiar voice.

“Obi-Wan…Where’s-Where’s Obi-Wan?” Anakin questioned, squinting at the man before him.

“He’s dead.”

_Dead._

That single word echoed throughout Anakin’s mind over and over and over again, so much so that it seemed surreal. Debilitating spinning overtook Anakin’s head as he gripped the sheets he was enveloped in, his knuckles turning white. His chest was too tight and his vision was blurry. Gasping for air, he tried to associate the figure in front of him with a face and a name, but failed miserably.

“I know how to bring him back.”

Anakin couldn’t breathe. He tried uselessly to gulp in some air, but nothing graced his lungs. His heart was pounding in his ears, matching the relentless beeping of his heart monitor. It all made sense - the emptiness like a black hole inside him - it was the training bond. Anakin tried searching for Obi-Wan's Force presence, but all that awaited him was the damning, midnight void that ripped him apart from the inside out, making everything seem  _wrong._

“Chancellor Palpatine?”

“Don’t you want to bring him back? Back from the land of the dead?” Palpatine enquired, knowing what the answer would be.

Anakin heaved. He felt like the entire universe was compacting around him and he was getting crushed, “What do you-what do you mean?”

It can’t be real. It can’t. Obi-Wan can’t be _dead._

“The Jedi are foolish with their selfless ways. They preach about the circle of life and returning to the Force, but all that really matters is here and now, Anakin. What matters is what there is to gain, not what there is to lose.”

Anakin shook his head to try and clear it, yet he still wished that Coruscant would blow up and obliterate him. Confused, he begged, “Please, Chancellor. What do you mean?”

“I can teach you how to bring Obi-Wan back from the dead. All I need from you,” the Chancellor said slowly and deliberately, “is for you to bow to me.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” breathed Anakin, his head pounding and the pressure in his temples only increasing by the second.

“The Dark Side. Bow to me, make me your new Master, and Obi-Wan will be revived. You can save him.”

“Dark Side?!” Anakin choked out.

“Yes. Now, this is the only way. Will you save him, or will you let him wilt away and die like the rest of your Jedi _friends_?” he spat. As he finished speaking, Palpatine closed his eyes and reopened them again. What Anakin saw stopped his heart and then spurred it into overdrive, his heart monitor beeping wildly out of control in a terrible symphony.  

Dead, yellow eyes stared at him expectantly; a line of dark red rimmed the amber. Anakin could sense the dark side filling the room and radiating from Palpatine. It was a probing presence that felt like it could rip apart his soul, so unlike the familiar warmth and clarity of the Light Side.  Anakin realised then that this man was never a man at all – he was a _Sith._

Obi-Wan was dead. There was no life that Anakin could imagine worth living without Obi-Wan in it. If the Force was cruel enough to allow his heart to continue beating, yet Obi-Wan’s rot to dust, the Dark Side must have consumed her already. This was the only way. It had to be.

Obi-Wan’s warnings about love rang in his mind, a siren loud enough to shake the planet, yet he realised now what he had meant; prepared to do anything, to kill anyone to keep them safe. Anakin felt the absence of Obi-Wan’s presence hit him with full force, knocking the breath out of him. He wouldn’t let the Force take him – Obi-Wan was Anakin’s.

“I’ll let you think about your decision while you heal,” Palpatine shrilled out. With that, he left, the door sliding shut behind him.

If he had to be a Sith to save Obi-Wan, Force help him, nothing in the galaxy would stop him from trying. Whatever it took, whoever had to die, Obi-Wan Kenobi would live, even if the galaxy had to be brought to its knees. It was unnatural, but the Force had taken her fair share away from Anakin already and he was going to make sure she would never do it again. _Never._

 


	9. Emotion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HATH RETURNED! I have been gone for so long. I am so sorry! 
> 
> I didn't do as well as I wanted to or as well as I knew I could've done, and have done in the past, for my exams, unfortunately. The school I was applying to thought they were pretty good and I got in, but for me, that's not the case. I worked harder for those grades than I have for anything in my entire life thus far, and now I have no motivation to get good grades for my exams in May. GCSEs are tiny in comparison to A levels as they get you into university, but I still am pretty bummed out, even 2 months after results day. My depression has gotten worse and I have to go back to the doctor (yay me), but I am not letting my mental health go down the drain due to how hard I am working ever again. I won't push past the point I know that will exhaust me and burn me out. I've learnt a lot, that working TOO hard can be counter-intuitive, for example, and I know in a couple of months I will be very grateful for the lessons, but right now, i just need to recuperate and get my head screwed on right. If that means meds and therapy, so be it. I know now that going to the doctors three times last year and have them do nothing was awful, but now I've changed doctors and they actually listen and are willing to help. I will be alright, but if I have to take a break from writing for a bit, I hope you understand. Family issues and mental issues are not fun XD.
> 
> Anyway, I just thought I'd let you know that i slotted this chapter in last minute as I have already written close to 4,000 words for Chapter 10 and it is looking likely that that will be the last one. We are nearing the end, my loves! Another time jump, go me XD. I hope you enjoy!

_Everyone knew Anakin was a tornado; slavery tends to do that to people. Emotions in his small form would start out as a spark and would swell and grow into something so overwhelming that it shook the very Force around him. The Jedi Masters called him a liability, but Obi-Wan thought he was a gift._

_Anakin was still young and vulnerable and the Council was all too ready to pass quick judgement. Qui-Gon had been the first to believe Anakin to be the Chosen One, and Obi-Wan had fostered that belief, let it develop into blinding faith that he could feel a mile off. He was all too aware that the Council were watching cautiously, waiting for a reason to expel him, but Anakin had time to prove himself, though he owed Obi-Wan nothing. But to himself, Anakin had to prove that he could be a great Jedi, maybe even the greatest to have lived. Obi-Wan didn’t doubt that for a second._

_But when Obi-Wan felt the tremor of something dreadful through the training bond, he knew Anakin was getting himself into trouble, something that would probably end with a council meeting and him having to defend his Padawan to the ends of Coruscant. He was not looking forward to that._

_Speeding out of his quarters, Obi-Wan followed Anakin’s presence in the Force. It was hazy at best, due to the fact that the bond hadn’t been forged for long, maybe a month, yet he felt its thrum call him, as dull as it was, and he followed trustingly. Towering white arches and marble walls flitted past him as he walked, and he closed his eyes to focus inwards. Anakin was troubled, very troubled, and his anger was hot and coiling. Obi-Wan’s chest tightened in sympathy and he broke into as fast as a walk that would remain inconspicuous to the Temple Guards as possible. If he knew Anakin at all, this was a confrontation and he did not want to be dragged to the Council room with his Padawan in toe with his tail between his legs._

_As he was nearing a training room, Anakin’s presence exploded into clarity and Obi-Wan burst into the room. He found his Padawan shaking, his arms outstretched, pinning two very frightened younglings to two pillars. Instinctively, Obi-Wan pushed at Anakin as lightly as he could with the Force, feeling it twisting around his fingers, and immediately the Padawans fell to the floor, gasping through their tears._

_Obi-Wan tried to go over to them, two young boys – one with black hair and bright green eyes and the other a brunette, their eyes shimmering from tears, but before he could, they bolted out, leaving a crying Anakin behind them._

_“Anakin! What in the Force’s name did you just do? Do you want to get expelled?!”_

_“NO! You don’t understand! You’re just like the rest of them, aren’t you?!” Anakin screamed, his shaking taking over his entire body now as he was racked with sobs, his fingers twisting in his hair._

_“Just like who?”_

_“The Masters! You just think I am not fit to be a Jedi!” the Force pulsed with hurt as he unconsciously offloaded his emotion, “Just like the rest of them,” Anakin finished, his voice quiet._

_“You know that’s not true, Anakin. If I believed that, you know full well that I would not keep bailing you out of trouble with the Council on what seems to be an alarmingly regular basis. Calm down, Padawan, and tell me why you just pinned two Padawans with the Force to scare them half to death,” said Obi-Wan, softly._

_“They-They told me-“ Anakin choked through his tears, biting his lip furiously in an attempt to stop the rivers carving their way down his cheeks, “They told me that I could never be a Jedi with so much emotion that I can’t control.”_

_“Padawan,” Obi-Wan said in a soft warning, “There’s something else isn’t there? Tell me.”_

_“They told me that slaves have no place in the Order. I was born…born into slavery so I was born to be used.”_

_“Force, Anakin,” Obi-Wan breathed, quietening the beat of anger that coursed through him at the Padawans’ words, “Come here,”_

_Anakin’s small legs carried him over into his Master’s arms. Obi-Wan encircled him tightly, letting his shields down, and flooding the Force with comfort and love. Small hands gripped at his tunics as tears soaked them, streaks running endlessly from Anakin’s blue eyes. Rubbing soothing circles into Anakin’s back, Obi-Wan spoke, “You know what they said isn’t true. You’re the Chosen One, Anakin; you will be the greatest Jedi this Order has ever seen. You are more closely linked to the Force than myself, Master Yoda, and Master Mace combined. Do you know what that means?” Obi-Wan said, looking down sadly at his crying Padawan that was embracing him so tightly that it was almost cutting off his air supply._

_Anakin just shook his head as he hiccupped through his sobs._

_“It means that you are going to rid this Galaxy of all the darkness that plagues it. It means that you are going to bring so much goodness to the Force that you will change the unbalance entirely. Anakin, you are the single most important thing in this Galaxy and those Padawans are simply irritated that they had not been chosen by the Force to save us all. You get all the attention,” Obi-Wan said, smiling._

_“You are so good. Your emotion at the moment is hazardous and explosive, but it is not inherently bad. The things you could do with your pure, good emotions; your love, your care, your kindness. Padawan, your heart is so pure, but you’ve just been riddled with so much pain that you act rashly and without thought sometimes. I see this not as a fatal flaw, but something that you can change with the training I am giving you._

_Obi-Wan’s face turned frighteningly serious, “I know why you did what you did, Anakin. You were hurt by their words and you used what you thought was your only defence against them. There are sometimes things much more powerful than the Force to defend you and protect you in situations like these. Do you know why they call me The Negotiator? I know that using deadly force can lead to unnecessary pain on both sides. How would you have felt if you had seriously hurt them?”_

_Anakin sniffed, “Terrible.”_

_“Exactly. Anakin, you mean too much to me to lose you to your own guilt. I’ve already lost Qui-Gon and I do not intend to lose you under any circumstances. The burden and pressure on your young shoulders are more than I can imagine, and more than I have ever had to deal with when I was a young Padawan. The pain in you is so strong that it consumes the Force around you. I will teach you to control that and I will teach you how to shield. You should not listen to what those two have to say for a single second. You cannot expect to be a Jedi Knight in a month; it took me over a decade, and I’m still learning, though you will be a Jedi, Anakin. I promise.”_

_“Yes, Master,” snivelled Anakin, his hair a riot from his fidgeting and sobs._

_“Let’s get back to our quarters.”_

* * *

_As soon as the door slid open, Anakin ran inside and vaulted over onto the sofa. His crying had stopped, thank the Force, but the entire way here, he had been gripping Obi-Wan’s robes like a vice._

_Moving over to where Anakin was laying, Obi-Wan sat down next to him, “Padawan, what do you need?”_

_Anakin didn’t even move his head. He just kept his eyes screwed shut in an expression that would have been hilarious in different circumstances, but right now, his boy looked so angry at himself that their bond sang in terrible symphonies and Obi-Wan could do nothing but send comfort to try and quell it._

_“Sleep,” Anakin whispered._

_“I’ll let you rest,” Obi-Wan said, as he got up._

_“No!” Anakin nearly shouted, but upon seeing the confusion on his Master’s face, immediately apologised, “No. Sorry, Master. Please, can…can you stay?”_

_Obi-Wan softened at his Padawan’s voice and smiled, “Of course. I still need to get you a blanket, young one, if you refuse to move from that sofa. Are you sure you want to stay out here?”_

_Anakin nodded as he curled himself up even more, knees drawn up to his chest with his chin resting on them._

_Quickly returning with a woollen quilt and a copious amount of pillows, Obi-Wan gently raised Anakin’s head onto the cushions and covered him with the blanket. The Force opened up then to relief as Anakin released all his emotion into it. As he did so, his anger, his guilt, his fear; they all sizzled out until only tiredness, warmth, and contentment were left._

_“Anakin,” Obi-Wan said softly._

_“Mm?”_

_“That was amazing. You releasing your emotions like that. I haven’t taught you that yet.”_

_“I didn’t mean to, Master,” Anakin said, looking embarrassed._

_“No, it’s good, Anakin. You should do that. When you become overwhelmed with feeling and it feels like it’s trapping you in your own mind, let it into the Force. It will save this from happening next time. You do look incredibly tired, though, Anakin. You should get some sleep.”_

_“Yes, Master.”_

_Anakin’s furrowed brow slowly slipped away and his Force presence dulled slightly as he succumbed to the comforting, empty darkness. The covers rose and fell with his breathing and the room fell away from his consciousness. As Obi-Wan watched his Padawan, he felt his own exhaustion ebbing at him and he closed his eyes, giving into the arms of sleep._

* * *

_“NO!”_

_Obi-Wan shot up, not just hearing his Padawan’s scream, but feeling it in the Force, hearing it reverberate in his mind._

_Anakin was crying. His cries only intensified as the room shook with every troubled inhale, a bookcase splintering and a holopad flying at the wall, cracking, sending pieces of it raining down like stardust._

_“Anakin! Anakin, Padawan, look at me,” Obi-Wan tried helplessly, his hands on either side of Anakin’s face, trying to ground him._

_His eyes were open, yet he was clearly not awake, and they were glassed over, his pupils blown wide in fear. He was visibly shaking, his head turning side to side rapidly like he was trying to shake the images in his head out of his ears._

_“Anakin! It’s not real. Look at me!” Obi-Wan was getting desperate. If he didn’t calm Anakin down soon, the entire Council would be running down to their chambers wondering why the Force was thrumming around him with so much power that it could take the Temple to the ground._

_Anakin just stared immovably. He was mumbling something, but it was in a tongue Obi-Wan could not comprehend._

_Huttese._

_Although Obi-Wan could not understand the words slipping past Anakin’s lips, it sounded like he was begging, his voice coarse and pleading. He needed to wake him up. Now._

 

* * *

 

There was darkness, then blinding light, and uncomfortable, crawling heat. Anakin felt a hand come raining down over his cheek before he was kicked down face first, picking up a mouthful of dust that had him coughing. There was a voice, but he couldn’t understand it.

Out of nowhere, a crack echoed. It took several seconds before Anakin realised what had happened and pain tore across his back, a searing cut opening. He couldn’t scream. He couldn’t do anything. He just lay there, paralysed. There was no throbbing like the normal punishments Anakin had received in the past. This pain stole the breath from his lungs and had tears glistening their way down his cheeks, clearing a path through the dust and grit covering his face. Blood trickled down his spine in a warm, sickening river and Anakin could almost taste the copper tinge on his tongue.

 **CRACK.** The whip came down again, slicing into Anakin’s soft flesh and licking underneath. Uncontrollably, the sheer pain that caused Anakin’s vision to blur and his head to feel dizzy made something in him snap. He felt the ground rumble beneath his fingertips. He felt hazy, but the more the whip ripped him, the more the dust seemed to be kicked up under the shaking, and the more clarity he could feel. He didn’t know how, but he knew he was causing this. Feeling a pull whispering to him in a voice that needn’t be verbal to understand, Anakin gave in and let his fingers twist in the sand.

The ground’s roaring grew impossibly more intense and faintly, Anakin heard cursing in a language he knew was familiar. Then, the hard, beating suns fizzled out and his slaver was nowhere to be seen. All there was, was a warm orange sky and coarse, harsh sand beneath him.    

* * *

 

 

_“Listen to me! ANAKIN! Wake up!”_

_Anakin eyes sharpened and as they did so, the room shook powerfully enough that Obi-Wan gripped onto the sofa for support before it stopped to a halt completely._

_“Anakin,” Obi-Wan breathed, slumping back against the cushions, a heavy sigh escaping him as he thanked the Force._

_Obi-Wan brushed back Anakin’s hair which stuck to his forehead from sweat. “Padawan, what happened? It was another nightmare, wasn’t it?”_

_Nodding, Anakin simply twirled his fingers in the quilt enveloping him and downcast his eyes._

_“No. We’re not doing this today,” spoke Obi-Wan, softly, lifting up Anakin’s chin, “If you don’t want to tell me that’s okay. But I need to make sure you’re alright. You nearly brought the Temple down.”_

_A small twitch of Anakin’s lips in the tiniest trace of a resigned smile let his Master know that this was one of the worst ones._

_“I was on Tatooine again,” Anakin’s voice was hoarse, “I was…I was whipped again… and again and again.  I couldn’t do anything, at least not at first. I just laid there and took it. But then, something changed.”_

_Obi-Wan left his shields down and allowed the bond to fill with comfort and warmth, silently urging Anakin to continue._

_Anakin frowned, “I didn’t know about the Force back then, but I think I used it. I felt something wrapping itself around me, something alive, and I felt the ground shaking like the start of a terrible quake. It was calling me, in my head, but it wasn’t a voice. It was a presence? I knew it wanted me to make it worse, to make the ground shake so much that it could tear in half. So I did. I passed out after that and I woke up the next morning with my mother’s worried face above me. She was using what little water we had to calm my fever. I knew then that my mother was scared of me, of what I could do. Not to her, never to her, but what trouble I would cause. Enough to get me killed.”_

_“Oh, Anakin.”_

_“Are you scared of me, Master? Do you think I’m evil?”_

_Obi-Wan opened his mouth to speak, but words completely failed him, and he sat there, gawping, wide-eyed, at his Padawan. But Anakin realised through the Force that his Master wasn’t fearful at all. He wasn’t like the Council, constantly wary that he may fall to the Dark Side. All he felt along the bond was sadness and pain, such pain, that his Padawan had gone through so much, but no, there was more…sadness that Anakin could think of himself like that. That was all it took for Anakin to crawl over to his Master and hold onto him in a fierce hug._

_“I will never be scared of you, do you hear me? You are the best and kindest soul I have ever met. Never, for one single second, think that you are evil. Do you understand, Anakin?”_

_Feeling the sincerity behind the words, Anakin mumbled into Obi-Wan’s tunic, “Okay. I will listen, Master.”_

_“Anakin, are you ill?”_

_Anakin looked up at his Master in complete confusion. “Why do you say that?”_

_“You’re actually doing what I tell you? Why are you so obedient today?” Obi-Wan said, his smile taking up his entire face._

_“Don’t get used to it,” Anakin smiled, and in his drained, but happy state, he knew that he would have his Master forever; the one person he could never push away, the one person he could never hurt, not really, and the Force grew warmer between them until it covered them like their embrace._


	10. Rage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My loves! I am back! Surprise surprise this isn't the last chapter. I may go back and edit this sometime soon, but for now, I couldn't leave you hanging any more XD. Get a cuppa and some snacks, and I hope you enjoy! <3

Everything slowed. Voices surrounding Obi-Wan turned into echoes as he felt the pulse of something terrible in the Force transform into a wave.  The Force whined, screaming at the darkness that consumed it; a tsunami of black smoke and dreadful evil.

Then, it began.

Crying out in fear, dozens of young voices screeched in Obi-Wan’s head for help, desperate pleas that bounced off the walls of his mind and were so deafeningly loud that it had him dropping to his knees, shaking. Obi-Wan sensed, one by one, their Force-signatures being blown out and his heart ached with the desolation. There was nothing he could do except fist the dirt to try to block it out, kneeling in a market stall thrumming with life, whereas elsewhere, it was being taken away so rapidly.

“What in the name is happening-“Obi-Wan thought, a drop of liquid hitting his hand that was balled up on the ground. Soon after, more followed, randomly falling onto his palm, and as he brought it up to his face, he realised he was crying. He felt every searing scream, every broken heart, and every prayer to the Force.

So much pain. It was unbearable. There was so much suffering and there was not a single thing Obi-Wan could do but sob. He tried to move, but every time he tried, a new wave of agony and torture hit him and he was pushed back down into the dust. Every future was stamped out; every innocence was taken.

When the endless ring of screams finally stopped, Obi-Wan was gasping. He got up to his feet shakily and immediately closed his eyes, reluctantly reaching out with the Force to the centre of the annihilation. Broken whimpers still resonated faintly in his mind, until they all began fading the closer he got. He probed deeper, knowing it was dangerous with such evident darkness clouding the Force, and he located its centre: the Temple.

Obi-Wan sped towards his home and shivered as he felt the cold presence drawing ever closer. Such peace and tranquillity destroyed. It was so _unnatural_. The white walls, towering pillars, and strong rooting foundations blurred and melded together as one bright, white smudge of life, but as he neared its entrance, death was there to meet him. There, laying amongst each other with dead-eyed, tear-streaked cheeks, were dozens of younglings. Their faces burned themselves into his memory without consent; one can never truly forget the face of death.

Two Padawans, a brother and sister, lay dead on the cold slab of marble floor, their intertwined hands limp and lifeless. She was curled into his shoulder. Obi-Wan moved over to the both of them. Fawn brown eyes stared at the ceiling, while his sister’s were shut tight against the horror that had undoubtedly unfolded here, the brother’s arms wrapped protectively around her small frame. Tremoring lips and shaking legs, Obi-Wan bent down slowly and shut those still, bronze, frightened eyes behind the cloaks of safety of their eyelids.

“NO!”

Obi-Wan head snapped up at the sound as a silhouette passed him by. He shivered against the cold that enveloped him as a result and instinctively activated his lightsaber. This was pure darkness; pure evil in its unadulterated form. He wouldn’t take any chances.

Gazing up from the harrowing scene, Obi-Wan tried to quell his anger as he stared at a hooded figure at the end of the white hallway. He was covered in darkness and the walls, the very air around him, seemed to turn black as he walked forwards.

“Why did you do this? How could you? Who are you?” Obi-Wan fired out in a broken voice, his face caught in sheer despair among the sea of deactivated lightsabers lying in weak, limp, tiny hands.

“Any more questions, _Master_?”

 _Master._ The familiar voice skimmed across the air and reverberated in Obi-Wan’s head again and again and again. No. This can’t be real.

“Anakin?” Obi-Wan gasped out, mouth agape in horror and his eyes wide in fear, his throat clenching like a fist was constricting it.

“Darth Vader,” the figure corrected.

 

No, that wasn’t Anakin, Obi-Wan realised; whatever it was, it had his voice, but it was stained with something horrible, something so uncharacteristic that it had Obi-Wan clutching at his lightsaber in a death grip.

“Pleased to see me are you?” Vader chuckled out, reaching for his own and activating it with a speed Obi-Wan had never seen in him before.

As Vader’s arm moved back and higher, preparing for a throw, Obi-Wan was overcome with a consuming tsunami of nausea. Those eyes – the eyes he had fallen in love with - weren’t blue anymore. As everything slowed, all Obi-Wan could see was yellow, as a hole, searing blue, was ripped right through his heart.

 

* * *

 

 

“Master?” Anakin whispered into the darkness.

 

“Obi-Wan! Wake up!”

 

Suddenly, Obi-Wan’s lungs were filled with air and he was gasping and choking, his head spinning rapidly out of control like he had never breathed before. He felt the thrumming of his heart in his ears speed up from nothing into overdrive and blood rush through his numb limbs: his head, his arms, his fingers, his legs, and his feet.

“Ana…Ana…Anakin…” Obi-Wan tried, his tongue heavy and immovable in his mouth.

“Can you breathe?”

“What-What did…you…do?” His voice was roar and hollow like death had consumed it.

As Obi-Wan’s eyes flickered open, he winced and groaned against the brightness. His eyes adjusted slowly and he looked around, moaning against the tightness in his neck and shoulders that knotted his joints.

“Where in the…Where in the Force-“Obi-Wan broke off in a cough, “are we?”

“Mustafar, Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan heaved as his lungs were made aware of all the ash particulates floating through the air, choking all life into oblivion. Everything was covered in black, dark ash and it drifted down and coated him like snow. Towering mountains dominated the view and beside them was a grand expanse of lava, bubbling dangerously.

“What happened, Anakin? Why are we here? Why are you still wearing that damn hood?”

“Dooku…he killed you,” Anakin said, but his voice was off like something was closing around and suffocating it, “The Chancellor told me to bring you here to tell you our plan for the galaxy.”

“Killed? I wasn’t killed, Anakin, clearly. And plan? What plan? Anakin, you’re talking gibberish.”

“You were killed. I revived you,” replied Anakin.

“Revived? That’s impossible,” Obi-Wan said, fear ripping the Force apart.

“It’s not. I did it.”

“H-How?”

“I felt into you and poured energy into you, enough to restart your heart. You’ve been dead for quite a while, so that made it more difficult, but I wasn’t going to let you die. Not like that,” Anakin stated solemnly.

“You revived me? No Jedi has ever been able to do that, Anakin. Who taught you that?” Obi-Wan said breathlessly.

Anakin was silent for a moment, “Chancellor Palpatine.”

“Palpatine? He’s a Force-user? Since when?”

At that, Anakin let his hood fall and pool around his shoulders. Obi-Wan’s breath caught in his chest as the pieces that had evaded him all this time slotted into place. He’d been so oblivious.

“Palpatine’s the Sith Lord. He’s the reason for the corrupt Senate. It’s him. Oh my Force, Anakin, what have you done?” quaked Obi-Wan.

“I’m saving the galaxy from this wretched war. The Jedi betrayed us. All the rules, all the obedience, doesn’t it make you sick?”

“No, Anakin. I am loyal to the Jedi! They’re my family!” Obi-Wan boomed, incredulous.

“Then, I take it you won’t be joining me then. I will build my new Empire from the ashes of the Jedi and I don’t need you to stand in my way; I will bring peace to this galaxy,” Anakin replied, his lightsaber activating. The blue light slowly ascended from the base and was an inconceivable contrast to the darkness that moved through Anakin’s very soul. Obi-Wan began to feel it then – the unimaginable tenebrosity.

“My Master told me this would happen. He told me you would try to stop me, try to _kill_ me.  I will end this war and _you,”_ spat Anakin, “will join me or die.”

Anakin’s amber eyes were glowing and it sent Obi-Wan off kilter, spiralling into the unknown.

“I’m sorry; this is my fault,” Obi-Wan eyes were downcast and a stabbing pain attacked his chest; he’d been a failure, “I should’ve trained you better to resist this.”

Unspeakable rage enveloped the Force and the ground beneath them began to shake. Vader charged forward, his lightsaber raised, and Obi-Wan barely had enough time to roll out of the way and kick his legs out from under him. He growled animalistically and graciously flipped upwards, turning his lightsaber in a taunting circle. Obi-Wan reached for his own and activated it just as Vader’s clashed against it. Having trained Anakin over the years, he knew every move his former Padawan would throw at him. This form of lightsaber attack was new, however; it was fuelled with so much passion, hatred, and fear.

There was a spark that was clear to see behind the dizzying, sizzling tornado of turquoise, though – love. It was buried deep, forced down after years of practice of doing so. Force, what had Obi-Wan been teaching him?

“Anakin, stop. Please,” Obi-Wan begged, his chest collapsing in on itself with every parry and trying to regain some form of control.

“I have…to kill the Jedi. They’re a disease; they’re plaguing the galaxy. I will provide security,” Anakin sniped back.

Sobering slightly, Obi-Wan effortlessly retorted, “How many have you killed so far, because if you don’t mind me saying, you’re not doing a very good job.”

“I don’t know, _Master_ ,” Anakin said, his voice dripped in twisted sweetness, “How many younglings were in the Temple the last time you checked? I lost count.”

Force, _no._

_No._

Obi-Wan reluctantly and exhaustingly pushed his horror, sorrow, and pain out into the Force, away from his being. Anakin just smirked. His vision –Anakin…killed every single one.

“You… _killed_ younglings?” Obi-Wan choked out. He tried to clutch his demeanour of nonchalance. He had to. Anakin would positively devour him if he didn’t gain his control back.

“Oh, yes. I _slaughtered_ them like the livestock that they are.”

His eyes watering from the pain, disgust, and nausea that was ever rising in his throat, Obi-Wan clenched his teeth and closed his eyes, regaining and distancing himself to look at the situation objectively. He had nearly gotten himself killed before because of his emotions. He would not let his Jedi training go to waste and rot because he had been _foolish_ enough to love over and over and over again, like his heart could never learn that he would never be allowed peace.

“You murdered poor, defenceless, untrained younglings, Anakin,” Obi-Wan shrilled out, “How very telling of your ultimate power the Dark Side has provided you.”

“ ** _STOP CALLING ME THAT! I KILLED ANAKIN SKYWALKER! HE’S DEAD, OLD MAN!”_**

Obi-Wan smiled. Vader hated it. He knew that smile. The smile that contorted Obi-Wan’s face every time he was so devastatingly lonely and sad, yet had to put on a face of calmness and _okay_ for his Padawan to see, because Force forbid the man ever show any real emotion.

Dancing together, their lightsabers clashed again. Obi-Wan controlled his breathing just like Qui-Gon had trained him to all those years ago. When he was loved. When he was happy. Before there was ever a war and lost lives and wrung out hope.

Patiently staying on the defensive, as was Qui-Gon’s way, Obi-Wan watched, ruefully fascinated with how Vader hate-fuelled offense was draining his energy fast. He would burn out soon. Obi-Wan was patient.

“I hate you!” Vader spat, “Deceitful liar. Filth.”

“Yes, Anakin. Do go on.”

Vile and rancorous, Vader threw out his arm and splayed his fingers, sending Obi-Wan soaring through the air. Obi-Wan screamed in pain and Vader crushed his fingers into his palm, breaking several ribs in the process. Hitting the ground, Obi-Wan choked up blood mixed in with sickening ash. Pushing against the Force at his feet to send him flying forward, Vader spun repeatedly in a blur of blue that was rushing ever closer.

Pain throbbed and pulsed overwhelmingly in Obi-Wan’s neck and back where he had been thrown at the ground like a rock. His eyes were heavy, ash blurring his vision, and he had to thwart the attack. His heart was in his throat, a constant reminder of life that would soon come to a halt if he just sat there motionless, awaiting slaughter: waiting for Anakin to break him.

The searing buzz of turquoise was right in front of him and it was buzzing in his subconscious; an alarm so deafening that he raised his lightsaber, thanking the Force that his instincts and intuition were still intact. Obi-Wan fed off of the Force to lift himself up, grimacing, pushing relentlessly against Vader, and sending him scrambling backwards in the dust.

“I loved you, Anakin.”

“ **LIES!”**

 **“** I should never have done that.”

Obi-Wan just watched his heart in front of him set fire to himself, burning in shades of blood red as Vader’s eyes blazed amber. Anakin was supposed to be the chosen one to save the galaxy from certain death – he was supposed to be Obi-Wan’s success. With all that training and care, it had all been for nought. First Qui-Gon, then Satine, and now this? The Force - did she even care for him anymore, or did she just laugh and watch as he devoted his life to her no matter what pain she caused him?

If he couldn’t redeem Anakin, he would have to kill him; this Obi-Wan knew to be true. But despite the logic, he felt the Force screech something awful at the notion; an itching in his veins. Anakin was a being of the Force, losing him…the Force would tilt even more to the Dark Side. But it was more than that…their bond…it was raging with heat and hatred, but there was the knowledge simmering beneath that one would always be lost without the other; a fate worse than death.

_Anakin._

_He turned to the Dark Side because of…_

Me…

 

_No…._

_I was supposed to protect him…I was supposed to-_

A scorching, scathing concoction of lava bubbled around them as it ran down the side of the volcano they were both on, millimetres from their feet, close enough that Obi-Wan felt the skin searing heat. To make matters worse, Anakin himself was a tsunami of magma waiting to consume everything around him and as Obi-Wan’s eyes glazed over in horror, Vader was coming at him.

Obi-Wan’s entire body ached now. His ribs stabbed him and blood soaked through his tunics from wounds from which he did not know the origin. The muscles in his legs throbbed and stung, his feet tired and clumsy. Soon, Obi-Wan would be dead, Vader would win, and the galaxy would crumble. It would all be his fault. All of it; the lives: the younglings, the Jedi, the innocent. Obi-Wan knew deep in his soul that he couldn’t let more lives get blown away like sand in the wind; useless and pointless to Vader, but a life that mattered so much to someone, somewhere. He couldn’t give in so easily. His training had taught him to deal with more pain than this. But Obi-Wan’s soul twisted and cried in agony and it made the Force unwillingly pulse with it. Vader could taste it, and it tasted delicious.

“I am going to crush you into dust!” Vader screamed, his lightsaber raining down on Obi-Wan’s own blue light like an animal caged and trying desperately to break the bars.

Another wave of lava dripped down the side of the volcano, its sickly orange hue matching that of Vader’s eyes. It was heading straight for them and Obi-Wan reacted first, using the Force to try and dull the pain in his chest as he flipped into the air and landed on a passing rock in the sea of lava behind them.

Vader moved only a fraction of a second later and the lava licked his heels while he sprung upwards, his lightsaber in a death grip as his landed on the same rock as his old Master, making a miniature tornado of dust fly through the air. Not even a millisecond past before the two of them both raised their lightsabers in a clash; Obi-Wan instinctively blocking the attack and Vader relentlessly pressing forward. Vader was an animal, a monster; he had devoured whatever was left of Anakin Skywalker and left this shell of a body behind.

“Anakin, please listen to me,” Obi-Wan sobbed, his entire being aching into the Force, ‘This isn’t the way I taught you. Can’t you see the Dark Lord has corrupted you? Are you blind?”

He was choking, he was sure he was _dying._ In fact, Obi-Wan was certain he would rather be in the arms of death than do what he knew he would have to.

Uncontrollable and boiling, a new wave of rage overcame Vader’s face and he went for a high blow for Obi-Wan’s neck, only to be met with a parry only a few centimetres before it would be too late. He was becoming more desperate with every passing moment, his last ounce of hope quickly depleting, but he was clinging on like he was hanging on the edge of a precipice and there was only one way down.

 “I’ve raised you since childhood to be a Jedi, maybe I was wrong to enforce the rules as harshly as I did, even though I was more lenient than the other Knights and Masters with their Padawans,” his voice dropped solemnly, “I feel emotions, Anakin. You do too. I see now that disconnecting from your emotions for you would always be impossible and trying would cause more harm than good.”

Vader let out a cry of anger that pierced Obi-Wan’s very soul. He spun, black and turquoise, and Vader’s saber cut into Obi-Wan’s shoulder. Crying out in pain, he pushed the pulsing stinging into the Force.

“I never let you see my feelings when you were a youngling, and I never foresaw--- the pain I would inspire ---“ Obi-Wan’s laboured breathing stole the words from his mouth, but he kept going. If he were to die here, Anakin needed to know his regrets, “by making you think I was stone. I should not have hid them from you. I wanted to avoid exposing you to the Dark Side as much as possible. I’ve clearly done the opposite.”

To Obi-Wan’s surprise, Vader faltered, only slightly, and he stopped his lightsaber mid thrash, until their simultaneous clash of blue began again.

“You saw my grief and my despair with Qui-Gon. After that, you seldom saw any powerful emotion at all, so in your head, I was perfect. I made you think that there was something wrong with you, like you were anything less than the most beautiful gift the Force has ever given me. Force, Anakin, I would kriffing kill for you; I would do anything to keep you safe.”

As Vader jumped and flipped in the air, he twisted his lightsaber again and again, waiting for the opportune moment to throw. Time slowed to a halt around him and he felt aware of every tiny moment; the lava bubbling in his ears, the air swooping around his head, the grey ash tickling his nostrils. But in his utter hatred, it blinded him, and he did not foresee Obi-Wan’s leap in mid-air, pushing down below him with the Force. In a second, everything went black and burning ripped across Vader’s leg.

Vader’s right calf fell to the ground and Obi-Wan threw himself to the side of the river of lava, dropping his lightsaber and raising both of his hands, and as Vader’s body began to fall, he closed his eyes and pulled.

As Obi-Wan lowered a screaming Vader to the ground, he realised that he was barely recognisable as the man he was before. Lightsaber scorches charred Vader’s robes, his hair was matted with dust and blood, and his skin was grey with ash, the tanned expanse of gold long gone.

Vader lay there powerless, tossing and screeching, Obi-Wan felt the hurricane of pain overwhelming the Force, creating a wave of lava towering slowly above them, bubbling threateningly. Obi-Wan’s soul ached in agony as he saw him outstretched in the dust, writhing in pain, and he was the one to do this to him.

 “Anakin, I loved you,” Obi-Wan said breathlessly, tears threatening again as Vader watched with sickly yellow eyes filled with pure hate, destruction, and suffering.

“I have never loved like this, and I never will again. Four years I hid this from you, I hid everything, and I know now how much damage that did. You have gone through so much, more than anyone can ever imagine, and I wish beyond anything else that I could take that all from you and bear it myself. If I must die here, then I will. I cannot kill you, Anakin. I love you far too much, and I always have.”

Thrumming overtook the Force in the bond like the faintest whisper of a heartbeat. It was only slight, but as Obi-Wan sensed the miniscule drop in Vader’s hatred, felt the wave disperse beside them without having to look, his Force signature pulsed less powerfully in blinding red.

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin whispered.

As he looked up, tears dripped down Obi-Wan’s cheeks, making streaks in the ash and blood that smeared his face. Anakin’s eyes were blue again; beautiful, clear, crystal, ocean blue. The ones he had first seen belonging to a boy on Tatooine. The eyes of the boy he had trained into the best Jedi this galaxy had ever seen. The eyes of the man he had fallen in love with.

The eyes of Anakin Skywalker.


	11. Bacta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, oops not the last one. I have to keep separating them out as it seems more natural than one loooong last chapter, so I hope you understand. This story is reaching its end, and I want to take it slowly. 
> 
> Ps. I am so sick I want to curl up into a ball and never leave my bed again XD. 
> 
> Enjoy! (Ps. the angst is a bit real in this one. Just a forewarning).

Slow, hazy, repetitive beeps rang out in the distant murky corners of Anakin’s mind and lulled him into consciousness, his eyes opening drearily to a cloudy hue of nebulous blue that made his vision blur into shapes and lights that seemed to mix together as one in his delirium. Feeling the tickle of oxygen pass through his nostrils and the gross sensation of bacta on his skin all around him, he squirmed inwardly. He had become familiar with its slimy, unpleasant nature many a time before as a Jedi inevitably would be, especially so with his recklessness, but it never ceased to be disgusting.

His head was foggy from the sedatives and pain relief swimming through his bloodstream through the crowd of wires that adorned him, but he closed his eyes and pushed past it, focusing his mind with the Force, even though it hurt to do so. Through the thrumming of his heart in his ears, he could feel the dull pulse of Obi-Wan next to him and he knew that his Master was still sleeping. Anakin breathed out air into his mask he didn’t know he’d been holding.

_How long have I been in here?_

Looking down at his body, he vaguely sensed that he couldn’t feel his left leg below his knee. There was no uncomfortable warmness encompassing it like the rest of his body; that part of him was strangely silent, just like his right arm always had been since it had been severed from him. _No…it can’t be…not again…._

Past the sea of wires and bacta, Anakin drifted forward slightly in the tank to reveal that his calf was indeed missing. A rush of memory assaulted him then and as consciousness attacked him without remorse, he choked against the pain. Obi-Wan…he had tried to kill his Master. _Gods…Obi-Wan…_

The medical droid that Anakin faintly registered amongst the ocean of cloudy slime quickly registered that something was amiss, and as quickly as the pain started, a new wave of medication hit him hard, and his head began to fuzz and dull into white noise, drowning him into sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

Obi-Wan snapped his eyes open to be met with a silver smudge surrounded by blur and soft clear blue. Warmth encased him like an embrace, but he pushed it away in his mind, needing to find Anakin, yet the Force was deadly quiet and all that could be felt was his own constant hum.

_Where in the Force-_

Pleasant coolness tingled on his face as the liquid encompassing him began to drain and his vision cleared. The medical droid stood expressionless outside his cylindrical chamber, attending to the draining controls and clearly checking his vitals at regular intervals, the buzzing of machinery meeting his sensitised ears loudly. Medical. They were back at the Temple, then. But where the kriff was Anakin?

As soon as his arms were free, he lifted it to his face and took his oxygen mask off, despite the droid’s clear protest. By the sardonic tilt of its head, Obi-Wan realised that if it could sigh at the intolerance of humans, it most certainly would.

“Where is Knight Skywalker?” Obi-Wan asked, his breathing perfect and his voice clearer than it had been since before Mustafar.  

The droid remained silent for a beat as if processing whether or not he was required to answer, “Knight Skywalker is resting. He is in the Main Hall.”

Muffled through the glass, Obi-Wan mumbled his thanks. Probing deeper into the Force now that he was not confined, Anakin’s pulse sang into the Force softly, pain absent from his signature.

“Can I see him?”

The droid lowered the glass and looked up. “He is asleep, Master Kenobi, and I have been given orders from the Healers not to allow visitors. Senator Amidala was the first to attempt to override this and she was detained. I advise that you wait until Knight Skywalker is well.”

_Padmé. Gods…What have I put her through?_

“I am a Jedi Master; a member of the Council. I have authority to override such orders. Let me see the Healers.”

“Very well. They are in the Main Hall attending to patients. If you wish to speak with them, I must relieve you from the tank first and assure your vitals are normal,” shrilled out the droid.

Breathing out a reserved sigh, he lifted his arms out of habit to allow the chrome machine to unstrap the harnesses around his chest, arms, and hips.

“He is stable isn’t he? Nothing is wrong? He is just sleeping?”

Obi-Wan couldn’t help it. Even while the droid took measurements of his heartrate and breathing, he fired out an explosion of questions with admirable coherency considering he had just escaped a bacta tank and sedatives were undoubtedly still coursing through his bloodstream.

“A durasteel leg has been fitted below his right knee and he has been placed in a sedative induced coma while the pain subsides. He is stable. He simply needs healing from his rest. He will make a full recovery.”

When all the wires were disconnected from him and he was free at last, he found himself unusually grateful. He had seen this very same droid innumerable times before when he had been injured, and never once had he even had the thought to be thankful, simply because it was just a machine. But now Anakin had been the one under its care and was recovering, Obi-Wan decided there was no time like the present.

“Thank you, for all that you’ve done for him.”

The droid looked slightly puzzled as he stopped mid movement in clearing out the tank of its remaining appendages of wires and residue.

“I do not require thanks, Master Kenobi. Medicine and healing were what I was programmed for. But you are most welcome. For as long as my circuits provide, I will always be here to heal you and the rest of the Order.”

Obi-Wan smiled a honey covered smile.

“I will leave you to get dressed and then I will escort you to the Healers. I will be outside if you require my assistance.”

“Thank you,” Obi-Wan said, turning to where his new robes were folded neatly and resting on top was his lightsaber. 

Pulling on his clothes and habitually hooking his saber to his belt, Obi-Wan virtually bolted out of the door and tried to keep in step with the slow movements of the droid, instead of fulfilling his desires to run into the Hall and see Anakin.

 

When they both arrived, Obi-Wan was shocked at the Hall's beauty. He had been here on countless occasions, but never as a visitor, and now, he could really appreciate the glitter of golden sunlight across the white marble floors from the towering arched windows and the tall pillars that weaved into the room itself. Tens of stone beds lined two walls in parallel and plainly dressed healers blurred around the patients, attending to them.

Anakin’s presence got stronger as soon as Obi-Wan stepped further into the room and the healers turned to him immediately upon sensing him and the powerful spark in the Force from Anakin’s sleeping form.

Tri, one of the healers who had healed Anakin as a boy, stepped forward from his bedside and waved off the others surrounding Obi-Wan questioningly, “This is Knight Skywalker’s former Master. Let him pass. They have both been through the Hells. Regardless, Anakin will heal faster with his presence here, that flurry in the Force is proof of that. We will heal his soul. Master Obi-Wan here can do what we cannot; he can heal his mind. Let him through.”

Obi-Wan stared wide eyed at the softness in her tone that he had never heard before. He could see now that her age had taken away all bitterness and left warmth in its place, which radiated in the Force around her.

“Tri?”

“Greetings, Master Kenobi. Come, he is sleeping,” she smiled.

Anakin lay on the grey stone bed made so the connection to the Force could be stronger for the Healers to use it to heal him. His hair was soft over his eyes and his eyelids fluttered slightly in his sleep. The durasteel leg was attached to Anakin’s right knee and gleamed under the Sun’s gaze, making Obi-Wan feel sick. Anakin looked serene however, and his breathing was calm and undisturbed; it was the most peaceful he had seen him in months.

Tri looked at Obi-Wan’s face with a mixture of concern and mirth, “Don’t look so worried, Master. He’ll be quite alright.”

“It’s not that,” Obi-Wan managed, “I did this to him.”

“I know. No-one here blames you, least of all me. I know how much you love him.  You did it to stop him from hurting anybody else. If you did not redeem him, I fear what he would become. He could have been the most powerful Dark Lord of the Sith this galaxy has ever known.”

“He must hate me,” Obi-Wan said, dropping onto of the bed and stroking the hair out of Anakin’s eyes.

“I don’t think he ever could really hate you, Obi-Wan,” the smile on Tri’s face was so uncharacteristically warm, “you should’ve seen him when we took him out the bacta. We had to sedate him as he had to go to the operating theatre immediately to fit the durasteel, but before we did, he kept asking if you were going to be okay. Even when we did sedate him, he kept saying your name over and over like a prayer on his lips. Even in his sleep he was doing it just before you came in. You felt that burst in the Force. You know as well as I do that this man does not hate you.”

Obi-Wan absorbed the information and felt relief swim through him, but the guilt still stayed as it inevitably would for a very long time.

Tri sobered and spoke solemnly, “His face, Obi-Wan. Force, when we woke him up he looked so terrified that he’d permanently hurt you. I’ve never seen a man look more scared in my life.

"Both of you are complete fools,” she laughed joyfully, “both blind to one another’s complete and utter adoration. Nothing can break you two apart after this, you know? Not many have survived a fall to the Dark Side.”

“You don’t know what he did, do you?” Obi-Wan replied, downcast.

Tri shook her head, “I assume you’re referring to the darkness that consumed the temple many days ago. I felt it, yet I could not place its cause. I am weaker in the Force than you are Obi-Wan. You will have to excuse me.”

“He-He killed younglings.”

“What?”

Obi-Wan watched as Tri’s face fell to the floor, disbelief rushing through her, and tears pricked in her eyes as her mouth fell agape in terror, her hands falling limp at her sides.

“I assume the Council already know from the Temple Guards wandering these Halls. I am sure they have received instruction to arrest him as soon as he is recovered.”

“My-my brother and sister- are they- dead?”

Suddenly, Obi-Wan placed all the pieces together and the two young siblings lying on the Temple floor in his vision assaulted him. They looked so much like her – down to her warm brown eyes and chestnut hair. He knew now why he had saw them first.

“Yes.”

Tri fell to the floor. The shock in her face emanated from her in beams and she just stared blankly in horror, tears falling silently down her cheeks. Her hands clutched at her hair and she cried hysterically, howling like a dying animal.  

The Healers who were so closely connected with her rushed over and dropped to their knees around her, clutching at her in an embrace like her family. Obi-Wan just watched in pain at the sight before him like he was the one to kill those two young lives.

“ **NO!** ” She screamed out into the abyss of the room. The sunlight glistened off of the tears on her face and her chocolate hair looked golden. It looked so out of place on her distraught features, the red patches on her pale skin rising in her hysteria and making her appear like blood was smeared on her features.

She sat there, surrounded by healers in brown cloaks like they were shielding her from the Dark Side. Tri was gasping out breaths and choked out words of pleas to the Force. Obi-Wan couldn’t take this anymore. His heart ached with hers at her agony and he was certain he would break down soon.

Tri forced her head up and gasped out, “I don’t hate him.”

“What do you -?” Obi-Wan said, standing above Anakin, his voice desperate and marred with choked tears.

“I can’t – not the way you look at him. Whatever that _thing_ did, it wasn’t him. I can’t -,” She choked as she hyperventilated.

With one final glance at Anakin, he knew he had to leave. He couldn’t watch this anymore.

“Take care of her,” Obi-Wan said.

"We will," one of them replied, not moving their gaze from Tri's shaking body. 

His eyes fell on Anakin’s sleeping form, “Take care of him,” he whispered, “He may never live with his sins.”


	12. Revenge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOPS. Not the last, yet again. I am going to do you a favour and when the last chapter does /eventually/ arrive, I will scream it in all caps XD. I am sick at the mo, so please forgive any errors, but writing makes me feel better, even though I can concentrate on little else which MAKES NO SENSE BRAIN, THANKS. 
> 
> The last, last, /last/ one may be postponed for a little bit while I get better, and catch up with all the work I missed at school while I was busy coughing up my esophagus.

Obi-Wan was gone. Anakin sensed it from the moment that he blinked and groaned against the blinding light from the windows; his powerful signature had been absent for a while, but Anakin felt its distant whisper along the bond.

A hooded figure walked over to him and began taking his vitals, her harsh voice mumbling from beneath the brown rim. As the wires and tubes were taken off of him, one remained – his drip – and she took out a silver case from her pocket and set it on his bedside.

“What are you doing?” he asked hoarsely.

“It’s just pain relief, Knight Skywalker. It will ease your suffering.”

Anakin shivered at her tone, “I’m not in any pain. I won’t be needing it. Whatever you did to heal me, I am well.”

“The statement was not a request for your compliance,” she croaked out and with that, she produced a large syringe with a gleaming silver needle protruding from its end, the shining red liquid inside making his stomach turn.

As he tried to protest, she easily held him down with the Force, forcing his silence. She flicked the needle thrice, pulled the clear tube carrying fluids into his system towards her and pierced the line, filling it with a cloud of red.

Anakin watched helplessly as the musky pink began rising along his tube towards the inside of his arm. He should’ve been able to throw her off, but his grip on the Force was lax and languid from his time in his coma and he struggled against her invisible bonds.

 

“Leave him!”

 

A loud, booming voiced echoed in the emptiness of the Hall, but the figure by Anakin didn’t need to turn around to know who was behind her.

“Trilianté, go. You have no place here.”

“You cannot kill him! You made a vow, just as I did!” she quaked. Her small frame did her no favours in making her look authoritative.

“Sister, I am exacting justice for his deeds. He _must_ pay for what he has done,” she said, deadly calm, her face absent of any emotion, “He was a Jedi; he was supposed to protect the peace. He broke his vow – in order for Xio and Neas to rest, I will break mine. For you, I will break it.”

“This is not _justice_!” Tri screamed, hopeless, “You vowed to the Force to heal, not to harm. My brother and sister were not vengeful! Anakin will meet the consequences. You should not interfere with the Order, Silas!”

“These _consequences_ you speak of – you mean him being in a prison cell, getting well fed and cared for? He does not deserve to live for what he has done!” she was wrathful in her boiling rage now, and it was beating in the Force like some ungodly beast.

Pleading, Tri’s heart cracked under her harsh gaze, “It was not him that killed them! He was not himself. I have felt the pull of the Dark Side myself. Do not speak to me about what he deserves!”

“He was within himself enough to murder. That is enough to warrant death before he harms another. It is my duty. Your grief is blinding you.”

Tri’s eyes went wild, “It is for my grief that I beseech you! Do not stain their memory with blood!”

“He has already stained it!” She was quaking with fury now, “How can you blame me for his crimes?!”

“Neas and Xio came to me in the Force. They are not angry, Silas. They looked serene, peaceful!” thundered Tri. Her voice then went quiet as if someone had flicked a switch inside her and she didn’t quite know what to feel, “They were surrounded by younglings, Silas, so many of them. I knew from their faces that Anakin was forgiven,” her features were solemn, guarded, and reserved, “They do not hate him, and so neither can I. He is pure from his love for Obi-Wan. The Dark Side is with him no longer. Please, do no harm to Skywalker. Master Kenobi has done much for us and this Temple; protected us. We cannot bring harm to his former Padawan.”

As if summoned, Obi-Wan stormed into the room, feeling Anakin’s disturbance in the Force, and his face turned dark at the sight that lay before him. Before the pair could react, he had splayed out his fingers and sent Silas flying into the wall.

Such rage had never been witnessed within the Negotiator and it scared Tri to her soul.

Obi-Wan had his hands clenched into fists, holding Silas up with her wrists bound, her legs dangling and kicking at air uselessly. His eyes were eclipsed in anger and the Force swam in it, drowned in it, and if he wasn’t stopped soon, she would surely die; the Darkness was moving in and around them like a thousand snakes awaiting for the opportune moment to _consume._

“Master Kenobi, please let her go. Anakin will not survive without her.  Only she knows what she has given him.”

“She tried to _kill_ him,” Obi-Wan spat, “and you want _me_ to let her go?”

“You will rid him of the poison won’t you, Silas?” Tri said, desperate and despondent.

She nodded in agreement, gasping.

Suddenly realising that he was only a few seconds away from snapping Silas’ neck, Obi-Wan dropped his hands, sending her slowly sliding down to the cold marble floor,  and then he brought them to his face, his head thumping.

_God, what have I turned into?_

“Master Kenobi, we cannot waste any more time. Get that silver sphere and bring it to me,” Tri said, gesturing to the small stone table behind her, before turning to the flaxen-haired ghost of a woman on the floor, “Silas, you know where the poison will go to first, if it will shut down any of his organs or stop his breathing, or worse. You must help me feel into his Force signature and draw it out. Will you help me? For my family?”

She looked up with hooded eyes, “You don’t know what will come of this,” Silas paused, “but yes, I will cure him.”

With that, Tri walked over to her, hauled her up, and the three of them stood around Anakin’s body.

Sitting Anakin upright, Tri instructed Obi-Wan, “Tap the sphere on the top in a circle. Use the Force to open the latch inside.”

She turned to Silas, “What will it do? Where do we need to look? We haven’t got the time for a whole Force scan; he will die.”

Silas cautioned a look at Obi-Wan, but looked away when she saw his face go pale and his knuckles go white from where they were gripping the silver bowl.

“He is paralysed. It will reach his heart and lungs – lungs first. His respiration will slow,” she checked his heartrate and breathing, “He is already in the second stage. We must act quickly.”

Tri motioned for the bowl and held it beneath Anakin’s lips with the Force.

“Obi-Wan, Silas and I will look into him for the disturbance. Whatever is in him, we will draw it out together,” assured Tri, a grave, determined look on her round face.

“If he panics, he will die before we can help him. Master Kenobi must go into Anakin’s mind and calm him and thus slow his heartrate if this is to work,” Silas said, looking to Obi-Wan with crestfallen eyes.

Obi-Wan simply nodded.

Then, they got to work.

The Healers closed their eyes simultaneously and hovered their hands over Anakin, Tri on the left and Silas on the right of him. Without need for verbal directions as they were so in tune with each other, Silas felt into his lungs while Tri went to his heart.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes as well and splayed out his hands slowly from where he was standing at the foot of the bed, concentrating and probing into Anakin’s signature. He felt guilt slip into his consciousness at invading Anakin’s privacy like this, but if he was to live, Obi-Wan would have to damn propriety.

Anakin’s well-trained shields were down in his hazy, clouded state, which meant Obi-Wan didn’t have to fight to get into his head. As he felt into his brain, Obi-Wan shuddered at the overwhelming _pain_ that resided there. He was still on the surface level, he would have to go deeper, but if this amount of emotion was already bubbling hot on the surface, Obi-Wan was terrified of what he’d find in its darkest corners and valleys.

The room began to slip away from him and all that was left was Anakin, making his vision grow dark and he began to experience every tremor of his partner’s existence. Stills of trauma, slavery, and death, transformed into moving, breathing reality and it made Obi-Wan’s breathing laboured and shallow.

Anakin’s suffering; it swelled up inside of him and was tearing him apart from the inside. He witnessed whippings and bloody tortures that Anakin had received as an innocent child in helpless, powerless horror. He saw death meet his face – small, scared, frightened faces stained in blood and ruby. He looked upon burning lava and a writhing, screaming, dirt covered body filling the Force with agony, and he _felt._ He _felt_ it all with him.

Obi-Wan didn’t push the feelings aside; he did something Anakin never did – he acknowledged them. Dimly, he was aware that the thrumming of Anakin’s heart in his ears was speeding out of control, but he had to do this. He started filling his mind with every single shared knowing smile, every secret joke, every embrace, and every touch. Obi-Wan drowned Anakin’s mind in what he felt for him; the breath-taking, stunning, remarkable, ethereal love that scared him half to death with its intensity. He didn’t take anything away, he couldn’t, not really, what had been done had been done, but he gave Anakin something no one had ever given him before – the promise of love so profound that it could make him anew.

The rapid cadence of Anakin’s heartbeat abated into a regular rhythm and his mind fell cloudy once more in sleep, though it became incandescent with Obi-Wan’s brightness. The hard floor beneath Obi-Wan’s feet and the golden glimmering sunlight on his face beckoned him back into the present, opening his eyes and blinking to adjust them.

Tri had her hand underneath Anakin’s head and Obi-Wan watched while Silas twisted and pulled her hands in the air, the red cloud beginning to escape from his lips and into the silver bowl resting against them. After the last wisp of vermillion had drifted into the bowl, it closed back into a sphere, trapping the dust inside of it.

Anakin let out a breath, then another, and another, completely smooth and comfortable. The trio let out breaths with him, watching him closely to see if they had managed it. After some time had passed, Tri and Silas nodded to each other in silent agreement, and brought a chair over for Obi-Wan next to Anakin’s sleeping body, his chest rising and falling in a perfect rhythm and his forehead as clear as the sky outside, free from its creases of pain. 

He stayed, and stayed, and stayed, watching while Anakin rested, afraid to even let out a breath out of place, scared that it might wake him. He stayed until the sun went down and the stars burst across the sky, watching the moonlight cast shadows off Anakin’s face. He stayed while the night moved through them, unforgiving in its darkness. He sat there, patient, and he stayed.

 

* * *

 

“Obi-Wan, you’ve been here for days,” Tri said, softly, “Forgive me for saying, but you look like death itself. Get some rest, Master. I will watch over him, I promise.”

As Obi-Wan opened his mouth to protest, she interjected, “No, no I am not taking a ‘no’ for an answer. You are doing no service to him or yourself by staying here. You will know when he wakes up. Now, go.”

Obi-Wan didn’t really have much choice when he was being ushered out by a five foot woman with narrowed eyes and a furrowed brow. He sent comfort over to Anakin and was rewarded by a quiet sigh from his parted lips, before he was standing in the immaculate white corridor, gazing up at the ceiling.

 _Maybe loving him isn’t death,_ Obi-Wan thought, watching his breath cloud in front of him, _maybe this is life; a new one, for both of us._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! We're nearly there! Anakin's been sick for ages, like me, so I hope we both get better soon XD. 
> 
> I want to take this moment to thank you all, sincerely, for all your support with this fic. When I posted the first chapter, I was sceptical that I would even write more. I could've never envisioned writing nearly 25,000 words with 13 (I think??????) chapters. That's all been because of you. You guys have kept me going and now I am finishing this soon, and I am just so darn happy because of all of you. Times have been so rough this year, not the worst they have ever been, but close, and this has given me hope, as dumb as that sounds, that next year will be better; that I will be better in every sense of the word. 
> 
> So again, thank you. I am beyond grateful. Thank you for sticking with me, and thanks for every read, kudos, comment, and bookmark. 
> 
> See you in the next one! <3


	13. Bond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! It's been a while, again. Not the last, next one will be uploaded shortly and then that is the last, and we're done. Hope you guys had a lovely Christmas ( I did not RIP me it was awful XD) and I wish you all a Happy New Year filled with awesomeness, good food, good people, and good experiences. 
> 
> Enjoy, my lovelies! xx

Coolness on Anakin’s brow caused him to hiss under his breath. Tri was tending to him, changing his bandages and cooling any remnants of a fever, and Anakin was grateful, but Obi-Wan was nowhere to be found. He felt him in the Force and it was no longer cloudy, just distant. Even as she moved about him, fussing over him, he felt the words rising in his throat building and building up to an explosion.

“Obi-Wan – where is he?”

Tri gathered up her tools and tidied them away with expert quickness, refusing to meet his gaze.

“I told him to rest, like you are now. He comes to visit you every day, but I always have to push him out of the door, lest he attach himself to your side and die from neglecting his own needs in favour of staying with you. He’s a good man, you know.”

Anakin sank back down into his bed, but he felt Tri’s unease from beside him, and it gave way into sadness that consumed her, yet if he wasn’t as close to the Force as he was, if he looked at her, all he would see was a tired healer. Something was wrong. _Very_ wrong.

He gazed at her questioningly, “Why are you so upset?”

Catching her off guard, she dropped a myriad of wrapped syringes, bandages and bottles on the floor, scrambling down to pick them up and store them in their proper cupboards beside him.

“I am fine, thank you, Knight Skywalker.”

Her voice cracked and she still didn’t meet his eyes, her brown eyes focused so surely on tidying that Anakin realised that she was practicing it out of anxiety in an attempt for normalcy, and to calm herself down.

Watching with a furrowed brow, Anakin fixed her with a puzzled look, “I can feel it in the Force. You aren’t very strong with it, but the emotions are powerful enough to overtake it. What has happened?”

“Nothing, Knight Skywalker. Merely exhausted, is all.”

Anakin didn’t believe her, not for a second, and despite Tri’s attempt at shielding, he still felt her anger towards him that she kept trying to force down, a small smile gracing her mouth that didn’t reach her eyes as she tried hopelessly to try and distance herself from her emotions.

 

 “You are angry at me. I suspect most people would be, considering what I have done,” Anakin said, his voice shaking as the truth was bubbling too close to the surface, “I-I can’t stand thinking about it. I didn’t just try to kill Obi-Wan, I killed younglings, so many of them,” Anakin tried to stop himself from crying, but salty tears still glazed his vision, “They were children. _Children_. I knew them, I had even helped train some of them on rare occasions. I am _sorry,_ it is worthless to say, but I am. They are one with Force now, that is what we are taught, isn’t it? I hope that’s true. They are free from the Dark Side now that plagues this galaxy. They won’t ever turn into me, but by the Force, I wish they were still alive in exchange for my life.”

 

Tri stood there, motionless yet shaking, and her shoulders slumped over, and without having to look, he knew she was crying as well.

“You knew them too, didn’t you?” His voice broke off, “It was more than that, though, wasn’t it?” Anakin felt streaks fall down his cheeks and refuse to stop when he realised why her grief was so strong, more than the grief others would feel – this was personal, “They were family,” he whispered, breathless, despair filling him to the core, “ _they were family.”_

Her form quivered like a guitar string, tension rippling along every fibre of her body and radiating outwards into her Force signature and into the room. She closed her eyes, swallowed, and wiped her eyes with her small hands desperately, balling them into fists.

“Neas and Xio, eleven and nine years old, my-,” she let out a shaky breath, silent tears still flowing from her eyes and marring her skin with glistening streaks, “ they were my brother and sister. Our mother died when they were young and I had to raise them myself for a while before they were taken in by the Order. They were the only family I had, and the Jedi knew I had attachments to them, and thinking I was a danger to their training –“ Tri stopped and her troubled gulp was audible, “I was forbidden to see them. I last saw them when Xio was five and Neas was seven… Four years later they’re …gone“

Tri broke off and wrapped her arms around herself like she was trying to stop the sobs that were shaking her form so powerfully.

“I tried, Skywalker, I did. I tried to distance myself. It was easier when you were asleep to pretend like I had forgiven you, but I can’t. Not yet. For Obi-Wan’s sake, I didn’t want him to see the damage you had caused. I didn’t want him to leave you, but I doubt he would, no matter if you planted a lightsaber straight through him. Force knows who else you could’ve killed if he did, and I didn’t want to take that risk. He stabilises you. Without him, you are lost, and so is he,” She finally looked at him and the sadness that melted into her brown eyes made him want to fall straight through the floor into the core of Coruscant and burn alive, “Maybe- maybe you two can save each other. The fact that the unstoppable team could bring down the corruption, the Sith, that is what makes me heal you and meet your old Master’s eyes with grace, Knight Skywalker.”

She closed her eyes to try and gather herself, “I know it wasn’t you. I know. But for them, to redeem yourself, promise me you will do what must be done and free this galaxy like you were meant to. Promise me that you will save this galaxy in their name, and the names of all those who fell at your hands that were stained in their blood. Promise me, Knight Skywalker. Please.”

Anakin was silent. Their Force signatures drowned in grief and utter devastation and he couldn’t stop the tears that were rolling off his chin. But he realised that he would do as she asked if Obi-Wan was there with him. He could do anything if Obi-Wan was there.

“I promise.”

 

* * *

 

 

The walk back to Obi-Wan’s quarters was a troublesome one, making Anakin nearly split his lip from biting it. The tears had gone, and in their wake, the beginning blossoms of relief sat low in his stomach, waiting patiently to grow into all of the darkness inside him and flower into something new, something light.

The steel door seemed to glare at him in disdain as he tried the lock, waving his hand with the Force. To his complete surprise, Obi-Wan had never had the locks changed, even when he had left their quarters to live with Padmé, and it filled him with gratitude and a little happiness.

The door slid open silently and Anakin took his first step inside in what felt like years, and his knees nearly gave out beneath him. Not a single thing had changed; the blue couch still stood proudly in the centre of the living room and books still showered every part of available space.  The smell of cinnamon filled the air, mixed in with the enveloping scent of home and Obi-Wan, and Anakin breathed it in deep, like he could rid his soul of all his darkness just by the air gracing his nostrils.

Obi-Wan was in the kitchen, and if the intoxicating mix of exotic spices drifting through the air were anything to go by, he was cooking. Barely a second later, a loud clatter echoed through the flat as Obi-Wan sensed his Force signature and footsteps on the hardwood floor rang in his ears.

“Oh, Force,” Obi-Wan breathed from the kitchen doorway, as his eyes found Anakin’s face, “You’re finally home.”

Suddenly feeling powerfully ashamed, Anakin started to find the floor amazingly interesting as his eyes flitted down and he memorised the patterns in the carpet under the sofa – the red squares surrounded by blue triangles and circles, a geometric explosion right beneath their feet. Even through his boots, he could almost feel its feather softness from memory when the strands sank between his toes and grounded him when he made shoddy attempt after shoddy attempt, under his Master’s instruction, to meditate, always fidgeting and unable to keep still, his only calm residing in the smooth carpet tickling his soles.

“Anakin.”

Looking up, the eyes that gazed on him were not filled with disgust and hatred like he expected. They were warm, soft like the creases by his mouth and the copper hair that fell just slightly out of place.

“It’s good to see you,” Obi-Wan said, and his smile grew from his mouth to his tired eyes, all the way up into his Force signature.

“Why?”

Unsurprisingly, Obi-Wan was not taken aback, “Because you have just spent a week in a bacta tank and two weeks in medical bed-bound in agony, and I was the one to put you there.”

Anakin did not feel the surge of hatred anymore that was so powerful back on Mustafar. Looking at the man before him, it was hard to feel anything but awe at the sun that stood toe to toe with him. It hurt to look, but by the Force, Anakin was prepared to go blind.

“I was going to kill you, Obi-Wan, and I would rather you kill me than let that happen. You did what you had to.”

Obi-Wan’s smile dropped and he looked away. Anakin felt the throb and ache in the Force while Obi-Wan’s eyes pricked with tears, his hand coming up to Anakin’s face, thumb tracing the scar above his right eye with a feather-light touch.

Obi-Wan whispered out, looking into Anakin’s ocean eyes with glittering, wet oceans of his own, “I didn’t want to. I hate myself for it.”

“I know,” Anakin said, one hand resting on Obi-Wan’s shoulder, while the other seemed to have a mind of its own and twirled the bronze hair at the nape of his neck, “And I love you.”

Silence hung in the air, palpable, and moved through them without remorse. Obi-Wan’s blue eyes were paused in their tears as they widened, disbelief reverberating in the Force like an alarm.

The words were out of his mouth before he could even stop them -

“No, you don’t.”

Anakin lunged at him then. Obi-Wan’s breath choked itself into oblivion as Anakin’s lips met with his own. They were soft, like silk gliding across his lips, and he moved slowly, tentatively, like he was slightly afraid Obi-Wan might break. Everything in the galaxy seemed to align beneath their feet. As Anakin’s hands rested on either side of Obi-Wan’s face, brushing thumbs and caresses, he took his bottom lip between his teeth and nipped, and the Force converged around them, a cloud of warmth, safety, reassurance, and _something new._

Blue and red sang and intertwined together, making a beautiful hue of purple that seemed to radiate through their skin and wash over them. There was a mix of salt from tears, sweetness like sugar, and cinnamon that washed across their tongues while lips moved in synch, in perfect harmony, and the Force opened up like a blooming flower to the both of them. Obi-Wan’s hands ran up Anakin’s spine, tangled themselves in his hair, and he smiled against Obi-Wan’s lips as fingers skated across his scalp.

Feeling his shields dropping one by one, Anakin found that he didn’t mind at all. In the tangle of lips, his mind opened up completely without censorship and Obi-Wan’s eyes snapped open, tendrils breaking free from his mind without thought, colliding with Anakin’s own with such force that it left him gasping into the kiss, his head feeling heavy, the room growing brighter. The room shook ferociously and books, holopads, and vases started levitating of their own accord and flying around, hitting the walls violently as they both lost control of the Force.

Tingles alighted in Obi-Wan’s head and rippled through his entire being, making him so unbelievably warm. Anakin’s eyes fluttered while the bond was created between them, growing strings that connected their minds together, interweaving and strengthening until they were one whole person. Anakin felt like he was glowing, and as his unbelievable happiness flooded into the Force, Obi-Wan didn’t just sense it – he _felt_ it.

_Anakin, I can –_

**_I know_ **

**“** Did you just-“Obi-Wan rasped out, reluctantly separating from the kiss and finding it incredibly troublesome to supply his lungs with oxygen.

“Yes,” Anakin smirked to himself, “I think I did.”

“We can communicate-“

“Telepathically, yes,” Anakin smiled.

_I’m in your head. Force, Anakin._

**_Hey. That tickles._ **

_Shut up._

Anakin looked up and grinned so smugly and so widely, Obi-Wan thought he’d tear his face in two.

**_Make. Me._ **

_If you insist._

Obi-Wan brought Anakin back down to kiss him again with his hand pressing on the back of his neck, a gentle pressure that grounded him, and this time, as their lips met, the bond between them pulsed with emotion, so much of it that it made them both drunk on it. Thoughts were flooding through them and Obi-Wan nor Anakin could separate them and name their owner, but it didn’t matter. Their minds were interlinked, intertwined, and it was the most perfect thing they had ever felt. It was as if the Force was pushing them together all this time, waiting for them to finally jump and take the leap, creating a bond so unique and so strong no two beings in the galaxy knew each other more closely.

Anakin tore himself away, resting his palms on Obi-Wan’s chest, “Gods, I am so sorry, what I’ve done- you could never-“

“I have and I will always forgive you. No more apologies, for now. We can talk about it later, I promise. We got here, didn’t we? It took us long enough, it was a bit roundabout and we have dealt with more pain than anyone should ever have to carry, but we’re here. That’s what matters, so shut up and kiss me.”

Anakin couldn’t help but smile as his lips found Obi-Wan’s again, slowly, and they drowned in each other. They fell into synch with every passing second, knowing each other better with every pass of lips, with every graze of teeth on pulse points on each other’s throats. There were Kenobi-Skywalker – different yet the same, apart yet together, day and night, and every paradox all at once, and it was intoxicating.

No matter where the Force would take them, Anakin realised, she would be there with them as a team, always a team. They would free the galaxy together, and just maybe, they could free each other.


	14. Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyy! We're here! Aren't you happy it's finally done? WHOOHOOO! 
> 
> Enjoy, loves! xxx

Obi-Wan awoke to find crumpled sheets vacant beside him, his brow furrowed. Blinking against the morning light softly illuminating his surroundings, his eyes traced the remnants of Anakin’s clothes strewn about the floor from last night, which he was rid of in a commendable haste; his boots – one by the drawers and another in the far left corner looking lonely; his tunics were in a pile by the bedside table; his belt was in a double, haphazard loop by the door. Suddenly, the Force started ringing with adoration and Obi-Wan dragged his eyes up to meet Anakin’s, pleased to find him majestically still naked.

“Good morning. You don’t need to look so scared. I can hear you thinking from the kitchen.” Anakin’s voice still had a hint of sleep in it and it seeped into Obi-Wan’s skin, making him shiver.

“Why are you up so early? You’ve never got up this early willingly in your life.”

Anakin smirked mischievously, “I wanted to make you breakfast. One should be rewarded for making me scream like that last night.”

Obi-Wan just stared at him. His cheeks flushed hot red and he picked up Anakin’s pillow and threw it at him, surprisingly getting a headshot and muffling his chuckle in the cotton.

Anakin recovered quickly and stalked forward like a cat, his want searing along the bond, when his foot caught in his own belt wrapped around his ankle. He lost his balance and went flying forward, headfirst into the carpet. Obi-Wan’s laugh rang out into the room loudly, enough to warrant a glare from a very annoyed Anakin with a mouthful of fluff and carpet burn on his knees, his hair still sticking up in odd directions.

“Well, Anakin. If you’ve had enough of kissing the carpet, I heard you made me breakfast?” Obi-Wan positively giggled.

But as Anakin jumped up and moved towards the bed, Obi-Wan knew that breakfast would probably be forgotten about. He climbed over him, framing Obi-Wan’s head with his hands, his legs on either side of his hips, and a predatory look in his eyes, making blue skies eclipse with black.

Like this, Obi-Wan couldn’t stop himself from marvelling at Anakin’s body, sculpted statue made out of gold. His skin was caramel, his thighs toned and strong from his nearly two decades of training, his now cold durasteel below the knee of his left leg making a hard twist of guilt throb in Obi-Wan’s chest. Anakin’s stomach was chiselled like marble, his abs hard and prominent, and his eyes glittering, even with only a tiny strip of sunlight illuminating his sculpted face. There was no denying, and every living thing in the galaxy would agree, that Anakin was physically flawless, as was to be expected as a gift and creation from the Force herself.  But there was a difference to Obi-Wan. To him, Anakin was more than the ‘ _Chosen One’_. Anakin was the most beautiful being Obi-Wan had ever known. He was luminescent. Anakin glowed in every aspect of his life and shone light in Obi-Wan’s abyss many a time before. But now, he shone so brightly he was blinding, but Obi-Wan wouldn’t dare miss it for a second.

But what was he in comparison? Maybe he was more experienced and wiser, yes, but what did that matter? Anakin was the most powerful Jedi in the galaxy and if Obi-Wan hadn’t saved him and pulled him out of hell, Anakin would have been the most calamitous Dark Lord of the Sith that the Galaxy had ever seen. Plus, time hadn’t been the kindest to him either. His age had resulted in him becoming slightly soft in the middle and lines sneaking around his eyes. Obi-Wan was nothing next to Anakin. Why had he thought that Anakin would love _him_ of all people?

**_Shut up._ **

_What?_

**_I said shut up. You’re being stupid. You would think after a hundred planet-shattering kisses and an eternal night of intense, kriffing incredible love-making that you would know that I love you._ **

“Anakin, I don’t exactly look like Padmé.”

“Which I am very grateful for. I don’t think it would fit your character, to be honest,” Anakin said, giggling to himself as thoughts of Obi-Wan inhabiting Padmé’s body came into his thoughts.

“Anakin, have you seen yourself lately? You’re perfect. I’m not.”

“I don’t care. I actually happen to love your body, I’ll have you know.”

**_I_ ** **adore _these…_**

Anakin’s fingers glided over the sprinkle of freckles on his shoulders and his lips soon followed, brushing over his skin and sliding down his collarbone to the hollow of his neck.

**_And this…_ **

Obi-Wan’s light dusting of copper hair from his belly button down to his navel was faced with a very determined Anakin, prepared to prove a point.

**_And these are just a tease…_ **

Anakin smiled and brushed a kiss behind Obi-Wan’s ear on his sweet spot, twisting his nipples, leaving him squirming and gasping for air.

**_And these are the most beautiful things I have ever laid eyes on…_ **

Peppering feather light kisses over Obi-Wan’s eyelids, Anakin softly grinned as his eyes met ocean blue seas that glittered and seemed so blue, they were translucent.

“I rest my case,” Anakin remarked quietly, sitting back on his heels.

Obi-Wan fixed the man in front of him with a narrow-eyed gaze, “Breakfast.”

Anakin’s grin was only spreading wider, “But I am sure it can wai-“

_No. Kitchen now, or do I have to drag you?_

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow and smiled at him as Anakin groaned in frustration, lightly hitting him the chest with an open fist.

Feeling a flood of confidence, Obi-Wan wanted to catch Anakin at his own game. Dropping to Anakin’s ear, he let his voice be overtaken by a dangerous tone, “Do that again, and you won’t be able to walk for a week after tonight.”

 ** _Don’t tempt me._** Anakin laughed, getting up and pulling Obi-Wan with him, walking hand in hand to the delicious smell that the kitchen was radiating into the air.

 

* * *

 

After eating a delicious breakfast, and marvelling at the fact that Anakin could actually _cook_ and not blow anything up for once, a ship or otherwise, Obi-Wan felt Anakin’s mind shift. Something was wrong, and it was in no way trivial in the slightest.

“You said we could talk, didn’t you? I want to talk,” Anakin said, looking down at his hands twitching around a cup of herbal tea, steam floating up into the air in waves.

Obi-Wan breathed out, slowly, and let the Force bond sing with warmth. This was going to be difficult, and Anakin needed to know that he wouldn’t leave.

“Yes, I did say that, and we can. Go ahead,” he whispered, his thumb stroking over Anakin’s wrist.

Guilt throbbed up to the surface from deep in Anakin’s mind. Repressed. _Not good at all._ Hopelessness joined its neighbour in the bond and it zipped along the line connecting Obi-Wan’s mind to Anakin’s, knocking the breath out of him.

Anakin glanced up, meeting Obi-Wan’s eyes, “You know, I know you do, about Tri – Neas and Xio.”

Obi-Wan nodded.

“I- I killed them without even acknowledging them, Obi-Wan. I was so consumed by the Dark Side, all I saw was Jedi, all I heard in my head over and over and over was Sidious’ command to kill them, every last one, how they would hinder-“ Anakin stopped, his breath coming out in short gasps, “hinder-hin-“

Hyperventilating took over Anakin’s body and shook him from head to toe.

“Breathe, love. Anakin, look at me, breathe,” instructed Obi-Wan, his warm gaze turned hard with concentration and worry as he tried to send calm along the bond, trying to bring Anakin’s gasping heaving to something resembling a normal breathing pattern.

“I-I- Wha-“ Anakin just stared at Obi-Wan’s face, looking like a startled Bocatt that Anakin had told him about from Tatooine when he was a boy.

“Just breathe, Anakin. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. It’s okay. Just breathe with me – in and out, in and out, just like that – that’s it,” Obi-Wan smiled softly as Anakin’s breathing began to slow. It wasn’t yet calm, but it was getting there.

Obi-Wan stayed there, stroking Anakin’s fingers and moving a fallen curl on his forehead back into place. He waited, unmoving, feeling Anakin’s pulse on his wrist thrum from panicked to the steady beat Obi-Wan felt like he knew as well as he knew his own.

“Better?” Obi-Wan said quietly, searching Anakin’s eyes.

“Mmm,” Anakin agreed, taking a shaky breath and blowing softly on his tea, closing his eyes as he took a long sip.

“We don’t have to do this now- we don’t. It’s alright if you can’t talk about it right now. Because one day we will, if you want to, and that’s all we need, okay?” Obi-Wan’s soft tone calmed the raging swarm of emotion taking Anakin out to sea, and brought him into shore, just that little bit closer.

Anakin looked at his face, and the beautiful lines outlining every frown, every smile, every laugh, and he couldn’t resist anymore. He brought up a hand to Obi-Wan’s jaw, let his fingers explore over the soft skin there and skate across to behind his neck, pulling them together until they were a hair’s breadth apart. They stayed there a while, breathing in each other’s air, feeling their hearts in each other’s ears without having to feel a pulse, looking into each other’s souls and watching the sunlight catch in each other’s eyes, before Obi-Wan closed the gap, a slow-moving kiss that melted Anakin down until only this moment existed, until Obi-Wan was all that mattered in the entire universe.

“I love you so kriffing much and I don’t even deserve you,” Anakin said as he broke away, lips glistening.

Obi-Wan’s heart ached, “You do deserve me, and I deserve you, Anakin. I love you, more than life itself, more than anything in this galaxy,” Obi-Wan stopped for a moment, smiling, “Even more than books.”

Anakin laughed, “And I love you more than flying. Well,” Anakin grinned, “Maybe that’s a bit far. Maybe a little less than flying, but definitely in the top ten.”

 

* * *

 

The day slipped away from them with alarming rapidness and Obi-Wan almost had whiplash. Coruscant was unnaturally quiet, yet it did not alarm him, feeling the quiet move through him like a welcome friend in the face of the deafening noise that would soon follow, when the Kenobi-Skywalker team took on Palpatine to try and destroy the Sith once and for all. Trouble would come for them, as would the inevitable danger, but for now, in this very moment with Coruscant beneath their feet, and the sky bursting with dim stars trying to break through the all-consuming lights from the glittering, towering buildings, they were safe. In this moment, both of them could finally _breathe._

Anakin slowly stalked behind Obi-Wan sitting on a small bench on their now shared balcony and silently, like a feline, moved to join him. Even in deep thought, Obi-Wan did not need to pull himself out of the deep corners of his mind to feel Anakin next to him, and as if on impulse, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, as if he was _home,_ slid his arm around his waist and gently pulled him in closer. There they sat, drifting in and out of each other’s heads without conscious thought, Anakin tucked into Obi-Wan’s shoulder and knees pulled up beside him, watching as the Sun set, painting gold, amber and purple across the canvas of the sky beyond them, setting the towers of durasteel on fire with shimmering light that seemed to reflect off every surface and light up their souls, intertwining them impossibly closer in body and in mind.

Anakin, surrounded by the warmth of Obi-Wan and the darkening sky transforming slowly into expanding spots of navy with every passing second as night drew upon them, began to feel drowsiness creep through him. He tried to pry open his eyes that were fluttering heavily and pulled up his gaze to Obi-Wan’s face. He couldn’t miss this, not for a second. Obi-Wan’s auburn hair seemed like liquid gold on his head, glittering when the softening light caught it and he studied the lines of his face that made him seem like an angel as he smiled at the setting sun. Anakin had never seen a look of such contentment on his face before and it was _beautiful._ The strong jawline and the long expanse of soft neck, the hint of a collarbone visible just beneath his robes, itchy, nothing like the feathery porcelain skin they were hiding. Obi-Wan was a walking marvel and his brain was even better – constant thoughts of adoration as soon as he merely _glanced_ in Anakin’s direction and so much intelligence simmering behind sapphire blue eyes. He’d always desired to see what that brain was thinking, what cogs were spinning as ideas transformed into epic plans that Anakin just had to alter and disobey, and now he could hear inside his head, it made him incomprehensibly heady.

Looking down to the mop of brown curls tucked into his shoulder, Obi-Wan’s smile only spread even more, making Anakin look up as he felt it in the Force, matching with a glowing smile of his own, setting off the tiny wrinkles by his eyes that Obi-Wan adored. This close, he could make out the tiny sprinkles of freckles across his cheeks and jaw, and overcome was some insane impulse, bent down and started planting fleeting, chaste kisses on each one, making Anakin laugh from how it tickled.

**_We’re so disgustingly in love, Obi-Wan, what will the Temple think?_ **

Even in Obi-Wan’s head, he heard the giggle in Anakin’s voice that showed he didn’t care in the slightest about what people thought at all. A ploy? Obi-Wan would play along.

_Who cares what the Temple or the Council thinks? They all assumed we were more than just partners even when you were seeing Padmé. Our bonding was so powerful in the Force that they cannot have missed it. They’re fine with it, Padawan. If they aren’t, we’ll just run off into the sunset and elope, won’t we?_

Obi-Wan laughed into Anakin’s hair, setting him off as well, and realised that being able to read each other’s minds would definitely make outsiders question their mental stability. Imagine: bursting out loud with laughter in the middle of a Council meeting! The embarrassment! This was going to get him into a lot of trouble, but Obi-Wan wasn’t entirely sure that he was annoyed about that in the slightest.

**_Definitely, and did you just say ‘Padawan’?_ **

_Oh Force._ Obi-Wan smiled to himself, feeling his cheeks heating. _Sorry, Anakin. Force of habit. See what I did there? I am hilarious._

Anakin actually groaned in retort. **_I don’t mind, Master. You’ll always be my Master, and I will always be your Padawan. Till the day we die._**

_Mmm I think you’re right._

Silence fell onto them and Anakin finally gave into his tiredness, letting his eyelids fall shut against Obi-Wan’s chest. Absent-mindedly, Obi-Wan’s hands found his hair and started tracing circles into his scalp, making Anakin sigh while his thoughts drifted away from him, a boat taken away by the tide. Obi-Wan realised how bizarre it was to feel his bonded in sleep. It almost felt like he was the one sleeping, his breaths slowing down to fall into synch with Anakin’s, but also a sense of wakefulness that left behind a comfortable paradox. The sky was navy blue now, the specs of stars now glowing much brighter. Barely any speeders were to be seen, even the Holonet was silent, and Obi-Wan shut his eyes, sinking into the chair and encircling Anakin just a bit more.  He had redeemed Anakin into the man in his arms - in his eyes, the greatest man to ever live. Anakin curled further into the warm presence in his slumber and snaked his arms even tighter around his waist, breathing him in.

For now, there was Coruscant. For now, they were alive. For now, there was the sparkling stars and distant galaxies swimming in blue. But forever? Forever, always, they had each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT IS OVER! I wanted to get this out by the end of the year and guess what - I have more exams RIP me. I am so tired, I need to sleep, but I wanted to write this for you before I did. It's 12:30am. I am shattered. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for being here. Thanks for reading, kudosing, bookmarking and commenting. You guys are amazing and I love you more than books and flying. 
> 
> See you soon! 
> 
> Bye!  
> xxxxxxxxx


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